Justin Smith John Walsh John Hughes
On this webpage you will find a small selection of testimonials from those, including myself who have at least some form of evidense for what they state is happening to them. There are literally hundreds of testimonials on the internet from people who state they are victims. Some of these people will be deluded, some will be genuine, and some have written such terribly worded and outlandish testimonials that in fact it makes you wonder if they wouldn't be better considered as very efficient means of encouraging the layman to consider the whole phenomena as at best nothing more than the ravings of the mentally ill ...
Testimonial of Justin Smith
by Justin Smith (last updated 2008/04/24)
It is an unfortunate truth that those who claim they are the subject of covert operations are, unless they provide solid evidence, at least in the form of witness testimony, generally disbelieved. Undoubtedly, some people who believe that they are the subject of a covert operation may have, as a founding cause of this belief, a paranoia that either gave rise to it entirely of itself, or created an interpretation of external events beyond that which could be considered within the bounds of probability. Yet, certainly, while paranoia does exist within certain members of the population, and that such paranoia alone may be the root of this type of claim in some of these individuals, it does not follow that everyone, therefore, who states that they believe they are the subject of a covert operation is doing so because their imagination has run riot.
If an individual has a series of experiences that create the same interpretation of events in other people, it is far more likely that this person's interpretation is within the bounds of reason - in the sense of being a 'normal' interpretation of events. Indeed, there are numerous covert operations being carried out by a variety of agencies for many different reasons at this moment. Some of those, the vast majority, I hope, will be exercised for reasons centering around those of protecting the general public from, for example, violent criminal and terrorist activity. Yet there are also a number of covert operations that are carried out, as has been documented by a number of investigations, for other reasons than that of protecting the general public.
These include, for example, the targeting of individuals who have been chosen as subjects for experimentation in such known ongoing areas of covert research as the interaction of certain types of electromagnetic fields, drugs, and even sound (for example, infrasound) upon the mind. Of those known and uncovered, one could mention project MKULTRA in the US (where students, those in care facilities, and other bodies where non-consensually subject to experiments into mind control) and the covert non-consensual human experimentation into radiation in the UK, as documented in the Channel 4 program "True Stories:Deadly Experiments" (aired July 6th 1995). Compensation has been awarded both in the US and the UK to a number of individuals non-consensually subject to these types of experiments where, in a legal case here in the UK, an out of court settlement of £250,000 was reached between one woman and the Ministry of Defense. If you wish to obtain a copy of this video, there is an address at the end of this page.
This page relates a variety of personal experiences over a number of years that to myself, at least suggest the possibility that I am the subject of some form of 'covert operation', or 'investigation'. You the reader may interpret the events detailed here differently. I fully appreciate this - I am aware of and bear in mind alternate explanations. I have personally experienced a variety of events over many years, some dating as far back as the early 1980s when my father was engaged in research covered by the Official Secrets Act for Marconi, via the UK firm British Aerospace.
In early 1995 I began to take a closer look at a number of experiences I had had since 1989. I am aware that the claims I am about to make will be greeted with suspicion and doubt by those who have not experienced the set of circumstances that I have been subject to - indeed, I would have responded in the same manner a few years ago, had someone made such claims to me at the time.
I believe the following statements, as strange as they sound, to be very likely true:
a) I was subject to an experiment into electromagnetism during my first year of university.
b) I am currently being under investigation on suspicion of being in some way connected with the Irish Republican Army terrorist organisation (the IRA), this investigation involving at times both overt harassment and possibly also what has come to be referred to as 'microwave harassment', that is, the bombardment of an individual with focussed microwave beams (technically referred to as 'MASERS') with in this case specific frequencies and modulation characteristics which are, according to one scientist I have spoken to, intended to cause stress trauma.
There are others who have experienced precisely the same type of events. The claims by individuals in the US of overt and microwave harassment were investigated by Julianne McKinney of the Association of National Security Alumni, whose report found in favour of these claims.
Of the evidences I have are the following: Evidence for the presence of a strong microwave field in the house where I live: Witness evidence for an unusually strong presence of black helicopter activity within my vicinity. Since 1998 the presence of this type of helicopter dropped dramatically after one of my friends became a witness to it, and was replaced by more regular 'fly-bys' by prop planes, white police helicopters and more 'ordinary-looking' (i.e. non-military) helicopters. Finally evidence for verbal harassment of the repeated phrase "He's dead", "Dead" and "He is", which can be downloaded here
Here are some of the things I have experienced:
The set of physiological symptoms associated with being within a strong microwave field became present for the second time in my life in April 1995 (the first time being my first year of university). Initially this was combined with intense psychological harassment, some of which I will detail later. The following events happened repeatedly just prior to (commencing February 1995) and during this time:
• Seeing the same cars go past a number of times while out walking, the driver or passenger sometimes doing the following: pointing their finger at me or looking at me while speaking into their hand.
• Cars slowing down as they approached me and driving past slowly.
The cars that most frequently passed me whose occupants displayed the above behaviours were white Vauxhalls, which are known to be used as undercover police cars in this country, and Range Rovers. The occupants of the white Vauxhalls were invariably dressed entirely in black (usually black tracksuits), although I am aware that during the 1990's black was a fashionable colour to wear here in the UK and that therefore it may in all probability be an error of mine to highlight this, though I will mention it for the record. The occupants of the Range Rovers tended on the whole to wear ordinary clothes.
Soon after this began, a man wearing a black tracksuit arrived in a white Ford Fiesta and moved in with the people opposite. One night I returned home to see him standing outside this house looking at me aggressively. It was shortly after this that the physiological symptoms (I later learned) of microwave poisoning commenced.
By this time I was aware, as it had been made plainly obvious, that some sort of investigation was being carried out on my person, and, one day noticing the waste-disposal men actually going through our garbage before placing it in the lorry, I decided, to play a joke: I placed a rolled-up piece of paper sticking out of one of our garbage bags for their next pick-up, upon which I had printed in large, capital letters "NOTHING TO REPORT". At the time, I thought this was rather amusing. However, the following day, a black helicopter circled directly over my house approximately every 15 minutes for a number of hours in the afternoon. A few days later it flew over my house seemingly only a hundred feet or so in the air, that is, well below legal minimum height limits. Again, when I was out walking a few days later it flew directly overhead at a very low height. Moving on two years from this point, there was a period in 1997 when, whenever I went out, a black helicopter would appear overhead. On visiting a local park with a friend, I mentioned this to him and said that one would be quite likely to appear shortly. Sure enough, within 5 minutes, the prediction was confirmed when a black helicopter appeared. If one reads enough of the literature on the subject, black helicopters seem to be a feature of the experiences of others who claim to be subject to some form of covert operation involving harassment (see links below). Recently, within a week of adding this (20/03/00), on meeting my father for lunch, he noted that a group of helicopters had circled around the block of apartments where he lives at a very low level, and in his own words, he said that it sounded as though one of them "was going to land on the roof" - they were black helicopters.
To continue, and returning to 1995, the set of events mentioned then progressed into overhearing snatches of conversation that became increasingly sinister and threatening (this phenomena was noted by Julianne McKinney of the Association of National Security Alumni in her investigation into claims of covert operations involving harassment). As one example, while holidaying with my parents in the Lake District, lying in bed in the early morning trying to sleep, the following incident occurred; the window of the my hotel room being open, I heard footsteps approaching on the street below. These stopped beneath the window, where the following exchange took place:
Person A: "He's in there."
Person B: "We'll get Mick-the-knife to cut him up."
Person C: "I'll take out the contract on him anytime."
Person A: "Na, just shoot him right between the eyes."
Another example being an incident of harassment, yet even more obviously directed towards me, occurred on the coach journey I took to the Lake District: The person sitting behind me said,
"I know a lot about you ... I even know your name, Justin," he then kicked the back of my coach seat hard, three times.
The kind of intense psychological harassment I was experiencing at the time stopped for a few months, along with any signs of street surveillance, when, after attempting suicide (in the belief that these people were actually going to kill me and possibly also my parents), I went to the police in June of 1995, stating the incidents that had occurred to me and that I believed an attempt was about to be made on my life. Understandably, the police officer suggested I seek psychiatric help.
When events mirroring those above recommenced in November 1995, psychological harassment was only very occasional, while the physiological symptoms of microwave poisoning, namely heart-palpitations combined with the sensation of lack of oxygen, increased considerably and were sustained for longer periods. An example of one of the few occasions when overt psychological harassment took place also suggested to me that these individuals were using technology involving radiation:
I was having lunch at a restaurant when a couple walked in. They sat directly to my left. When I glanced across, I noticed that the man was glaring at me as though I were scum. Later, I heard the woman say "We'll have to radiate him from the car", whereupon I turned to see them both looking directly at me. Again, as I was paying the bill I noticed that the man was leaning sideways from his chair to get a better view of me with the same angry glare.
Unfortunately, a second visit in November 1996 to St. Albans police station did not help: I spoke to a Sergeant Lawrence, telling him of my belief that I was being followed (although unwilling to tell him of my suspicions (now given further weight, having carried out a standard test using tinfoil) regarding microwave radiation, as I felt this would just be too far-fetched for him to listen to and still regard me as sane).
He seemed a genuinely nice person, who stated that he was unaware of any police operation relating to myself. At this time, the symptoms of microwave radiation were very intense and continuous - at one point being felt 24 hours a day for four days in a row, seemingly at 'full-blast'. I broke down into tears during the conversation with him, and, not surprisingly, given my emotional state and the fact that believing you are being followed is a commonly accepted characteristic of a delusional/schizophrenic personality, he, like the previous officer, advised me to seek psychiatric help.
As stated earlier, 1995 was not the first occasion where I experienced unusual occurrences, nor the first time I experienced the symptoms of microwave poisoning.
Before the period of intense overt psychological harassment in 1995 I did not believe I was being followed. The events below commenced in 1989:
During the spring of 1989 I would see the same person waiting at the exit I would take from college (where I was studying my for my A-Levels) at the end of the day for a number of days in succession, who as soon as I passed him, would start walking behind me. After a few days of this, I looked at him quizzically as I approached the exit. The next day, he wasn't there - instead there was a young 'student-looking' person who did exactly the same thing (that is, watch me as I approached the exit and then walk behind me as I left). At the time I did not pay much attention to these and other incidents. On several other occasions, while standing outside the refectory and having a cigarette during the break from classes, I would turn around to see the same man standing a few feet behind me, directly facing me. He was in early middle-age, thin, severe-looking, dressed in dark clothing, and looked completely out of place on the college campus. One day, just to see what would happen, I opened the nearby doors to the library and walked in a few feet down the corridor. I then stopped in front one of the posters and turned my head to the door I had just come through. Sure enough, within seconds, he appeared at the door, looking straight at me - I gave him a smile, but instead of a normal reaction, his face darkened - he looked angry. The following day he was not there - instead there were two young men dressed entirely in black who, for a number of days in a row stood behind me at the same place while I was having my cigarette. On the last day they were there, they walked past me and stood in front of me, looking at me. I smiled and said, "Hello", to which they smiled and greeted me in return, and immediately left the college campus. When they were walking to the exit behind me, I heard one say to the other "He seems alright", to which the other replied, "Yea, shall we go back to the station?". I now realise that these incidents all bore the hallmarks of being the subject to some kind of covert operation.
However, during this time (1989), I was not the only one of the people I knew who noticed something unusual: On one occasion, I was in a car with two of my friends - Mark, and Ben. We were driving around when we stopped off somewhere for a smoke in the car. A white Vauxhall drove passed us on the road in front. I noticed that Ben paused momentarily as he looked at it. The car then drove round to our left and pulled up a few yards behind us and stopped. Ben then said "We're being followed, that's the [n]th time [he mentioned a figure] I've seen that car today". Of course, Mark and I poo-poohed him. In retrospect, I now believe him - Ben has a near-photographic memory, and what I assumed at the time was mere coincidence I now realise may well not have been.
Whether the following is related to other events at the time suggesting I was the subject to some kind of investigation, I can't say: The following event occurred in March 1989. A friend of mine, Mark, and I were on a stroll after attending a birthday celebration for my brother. Quite simply, at one point we stopped to admire the dim, cosy interior of a closed pub: about 10 minutes prior to this I had glanced at the time on my watch, which showed that it was 2:03 am. As we began walking again, the bells from a nearby cathedral rang three times, that is, indicating that it was three o'clock. Not believing this, I looked my watch, and was stunned, as was Mark, to see that it read 3:15 am, that is, we had both somehow lost almost exactly one hour in time. Later that day, I checked the time on my which against the 'speaking clock' (a service available in England where is it possible to obtain the exact time by phoning a certain number) - my watch was showing the correct time. All we can recall in relation to the event is that we both began to feel in a rather 'dream-like' state just prior to the point where both our memories of the next hour disappeared.
In 1990, the friend mentioned above - Mark - started going out with a someone by the name of Sophie Rimmington who was the daughter of the, then, head of MI5 (Stella Rimmington). During that period, I can in retrospect see that a number of experiences I had at that time fitted the mold of being part of some kind of investigation.
In theory, of course, bearing in mind that I was a friend of the boy-friend of the daughter of the head of MI5, such incidents could be easily explained in terms of the idea that they were merely 'checking-out' his circle of friends. However, when I met Mark in 1996 for the first time in a few years, he told me that a separate group of Irish people, with whom Sophie had been associating at the time, had been suspected by MI5 of plotting to kidnap her for and on behalf of the IRA.
Whether this was true or not he didn't know, however he told me that it culminated in an armed-raid. This was kept out of the papers at the time, Mark informed me, for reasons of national security. Naturally, though we had never met this other group of Irish people with whom she had been associating, it is reasonable to assume that Mark, myself, my brother and another friend in our group, Ben, may well have been included in the scope of the investigation on the grounds of gaining as much data as possible relating to those who were in some way connected with Sophie Rimmington at the time of this alleged plot to kidnap her by her Irish associates.
It is reasonable to presume then, that our names would have been preserved in MI5's records as having been involved in an investigation into suspected terrorist activity.
Apart from the incident involving Sophie Rimmington, I believe there were two other times when my name may have come up during investigation of IRA activity. One of these I am certain of, namely the following:
In either 1993 or 1994 (I'm not exactly sure which year) there was a much-publicised case of an employee of the Ministry of Defense being arrested for selling arms to a group of individuals, who, it transpired, were working for the IRA.
This person lived on Beaumont Avenue in St. Albans, along which I was walking one day, when a police car pulled up next to me and one of the policemen leaned out of the window, asking me if I had seen a man and a woman walking together in the vicinity (he gave a description of them). I said that I hadn't, whereupon he asked me what route I had taken. When I informed him of my route he then asked me for my name and address, which I gave.
The following day, the story broke in the local and national newspapers that this employee of the Ministry of Defense had been arrested and that police were still searching for a man and a woman seen walking together in the vicinity at the time of his arrest. These two were said to be working for the IRA and about to engage in a purchase of weapons from the Ministry of Defense employee, and matched the description the policeman had given me of the two. So once again, my name would have appeared in an investigation associated with the IRA.
If the following assumption is correct, that would have been the third time that this had happened:
In 1992 while still at university, I was about to catch the train to go to Goldsmiths College, University of London, where I was studying for a degree in Anthropology. As I walked downstairs my mother informed me that she had just read on our television's teletext facility that there were no trains going from St. Albans that day because the IRA had just detonated a bomb on one of the lines going from St. Albans to London. Being a bit of a practical joker at times, I thought it would be exciting to phone up St. Albans train station and, in a suitably suspicious-sounding Irish accent, ask if there were any trains leaving from St. Albans that day. I did this. There was a significant pause before the member of staff responded with a tight-lipped 'No'. I hung up without saying goodbye to add to his obvious suspicion.
I now realise in retrospect that any member of staff at that station worth his salt would have immediately phoned the police and had the call traced: in which case my name by now would have come up in three separate investigations involving terrorist activity.
Now of course, as I am not an IRA terrorist they would have found no evidence on any of these occasions that I was. If, however, the recent allegations made by the 'renegade' MI5 officer David Shayler are correct, namely that MI5 as an organisation are prone to jumping to conclusions and "wild speculation" (his own words), it is at least conceivable that this lack of evidence may not have dissuaded them.
If the assumptions I made above are correct, and I believe that they are certainly not made without good reason, then there is a high degree of probability that my name has appeared in three separate investigations into IRA activity. Even under normal circumstances it is obvious that this would arouse suspicion: even if it were the case that no evidence were found, it would not settle easily in the mind of those involved in reviewing this fact, namely that my name had come up in three separate investigations within four years. At best, an open mind, having seen the lack of evidence, would put it down to coincidence or just plain bad luck.
However, it is necessarily in the nature of these organisations to be circumspect. If there is, as David Shayler alleges, a further tendency towards "wild speculation" within MI5, then it is conceivable that these three incidences - lack of evidence notwithstanding - would have placed, within MI5, a level of suspicion great enough to have led them to feel that a continuance of the investigation was justified on the grounds of suspicion alone.
Within the belief that I am being investigated, this seems to be a possible scenario. One hopes that the process of deductive reasoning from observable fact, which must inevitably lead to the conclusion that there is an extremely high probability that I am innocent, plays, or will play, as important a role in this current investigation.
However, it is also possible that one other factor may have prolonged this investigation: Firstly, and most importantly, during 1996 and 1997, ending with the general election, I would, at least one or two times a week, wake up in the middle of the night to the set of symptoms associated with being within a strong microwave field, and within a matter of seconds hear the sound of a small muffled explosion, like that of a grenade going off somewhere in the neighbourhood. The same thing even happened when I went to visit my sister and her husband, who lived in a remote village on the other side of England. These events suggested to me that the possibility that an organisation (whether MI5 or another) was using the intelligence gathered from my movements to set me up as a 'fall-guy' for fake IRA activity. My suspicions were given further weight when, at the time that this was happening to me, it was announced on the news that the IRA had made a public statement to the effect that they believed they were being framed - that is, they stated that bombs were being set off that they had not planted (if the IRA detonate a bomb, they invariably claim responsibility to the press afterwards). But if this were true, why would I be chosen and why would an organisation seek to generate fake IRA activity in the first place? While I would accept that the following may be misconstruance, I would like to relate it as a possible explanation: In 1997 there was a report in the Times newspaper that the government - at the time a hung parliament where the Loyalist party held the balance of power - had averted a vote of no confidence because the Loyalist party had agreed to vote with the government if such a vote ever took place, thereby giving the government sufficient numbers to avoid this possibility. However, the Loyalists had put certain conditions on their support - namely that there be an increased security presence in Northern Ireland. Previously, the government had responded that there would be an increase in security only if the situation warranted it. In the event, there was an increase in apparent IRA terrorist activity (while the IRA claimed that at the time bombs were being detonated that they had not planted). Because of this increase in activity, the government agreed to increase security measures. If the IRA were not responsible for the increase in terrorist activity at the time, which they claimed, was this increase in apparent IRA activity something that had been deliberately engineered to thereby secure the government's future in the face of the, at the time, very real threat of a vote of no confidence? Did they also need someone on the mainland whose name had come up in investigations into IRA activity (and was therefore already an IRA terrorist suspect) around whom to generate fake terrorist activity on the British mainland in an area (St Albans) that had a history of being targetted by the IRA in the past?
Having said all this, there may even be an additional reason why all this may be happening: In early 1995, having gone over the incidents in my first year of college which are detailed below, along with the limited knowledge I had of psychotronics, I came to the conclusion, later supported by my further investigations into psychotronics, that it was possible that I had been used as a guinea pig in an experiment into remote behavioural influence in my first year of university at Goldsmith's College in 1989. At the same time in 1995, I began asking my father, who has a background in both physics and mathematics, a series of questions relating to how the body might respond to an electromagnetic field. I finally told him of my suspicions that I may have been involved in an experiment into electromagnetism during my first year of university. It was in precisely this same time-period that the first signs of street surveillance began. Finally, one evening while visiting my brother, I said very much the same thing to him. That very night, on leaving his house, I was stopped by the police - whose car was standing stationary at a junction a few meters away before driving up to me - and asked a series of bizarre questions. Fairly innocuous, one might think. However, in the nights leading up to this event, on walking home from friends' houses, I had noticed a metallic Volvo estate slowing down almost to a crawl as it drove past me, on at least three occasions. The night I was stopped by the police, the same Volvo estate appeared, driving past, once again, very slowly. Also, some of the questions the police asked me suggested they were engaged in some kind of investigation of me, or wished to give that impression: One question was "So your name is Justin Smith - and you were born in Canada, but it's not Jason Smith - and you were born in Canada?" When I confirmed that my name was Justin Smith and not Jason Smith, they said words to the effect of "Oh right, he's not the bloke we're looking for." Other questions they asked me were "In what country were you born?", "When did you move to this country?", "Have you ever had any court summons?", "What do you do for a living, Justin?" and "You're not carrying anything you shouldn't are you?". In the few weeks prior to this, there were at least two occasions when a police car had passed me very slowly - actually for a short time keeping pace with me as I walked, but at no time calling me over, or making any indication that they wished to speak to me. Whether this is all coincidence, or there actually was some genuine investigation that included myself that was itself ongoing at that time, or whether in fact some kind of case was being kept open regarding me for other reasons, or that there was a causal link between my beginning to ask questions relating to the possibility that I may have been involved in an experiment into electromagnetism and the first obvious signs of street surveillance, I could not say. Very shortly after this time, both overt harassment, as well as the physiological symptoms of being at times within a strong microwave field commenced.
Before going on to describe some of the experiences I had while residing in my halls of residence - Stannard Hall - during my first year at Goldsmiths College. I would like to point out a fact that I know for certain, namely that my name has also come up in a murder investigation. In 1992, while visiting a friend in London, his father turned up at his flat. A few weeks later he was murdered. My friend was asked by a policeman involved in the investigation to give him the names of any strangers whom his father had met for the first time just prior to his death. As the only person he could think of who had met his father for the first time, he mentioned my name - the officer took note of my name and address from him. It is therefore a certainty that, not only am I listed as a terrorist suspect, but also as a murder suspect as well.
I will now go on to describe some of the experiences I had while residing in my halls of residence during my first year at University of London, Goldsmiths College:
I began studying for combined honours in psychology and anthropology, but switched to pure anthropology at the end of the year. I believe it possible that certain members of the psychology department, along with one or two others, were involved in the incidents below.
Of course, if taken individually, most of the incidents would not amount to anything unusual, and certainly some of them can very easily be dismissed by more straight forward explanations. However, taken as a whole, I believe that anyone, having had themselves, and made a list of, the following experiences - combined with a knowledge of the effects and possible uses of various forms of radiation on humans that have been known to have been researched by both both East and West covert security agencies - would in retrospect bear in mind the possibility, without feeling that they were engaged in any flight of fancy, that they had been non-consensually subject to electromagnetism in a number of forms.
I recall the following unusual incidents during my stay:
• At the start of the first term, the theft of a blank document containing only my signature. It was an blank application form to join an independent organisation known as the "Psychological Society". During our first week of college all the psychology students were gathered together in the examination room of the psychology department, and at one point during the usual introductory talk to new students, these forms were handed out to us. The lecturer speaking, Robin Russel, said to us words to the effect of 'Even though you may not wish to join the Psychological Society immediately, you might as well put your signatures on it,' with the explanation that it would save us time if we decided to join in the future. We all started writing our signatures on the application forms. As I was doing this I momentarily glanced up to see his eyes looking at me and then down to my hand writing my signature. He then smiled and a look of satisfaction crossed his face. Whether this is relevant or not I couldn't say. The theft occurred within one or two days of me signing the document. It was discovered to have been stolen as follows: On returning from college one afternoon I noticed that one set of the drawers in my room were ajar, whereas they had all been shut that morning. When I looked in the the drawer where the application form for membership of the Psychological Society had been, it was missing.
• At times, the physiological symptoms of being within a strong microwave field in my halls of residence room (number 23c Stannard Hall).
• One day, I had a strong sensation of nausea, and upon looking in the mirror saw that my skin had turned a reddish colour. I threw up in the toilet. I walked back into the room and immediately the sensation of nausea vanished. As I learnt when I got a book out from my local library in 1995 on radiation, when a human is subject to gamma rays, nausea is experienced combined with a reddening of the skin (due to chemical changes made to the blood by the immune system in response to the damaging effects of this type of ray).
• Experienced a series of strong headaches (notable by a sensation of physical pressure inside the head, as though the brain had expanded against the sealed inner chamber of air that surrounds it in the skull). One day, at the same time that this was happening to me (the second term of the first year), I opened my door to go the kitchen and happened to see the student in the room opposite me in the hallway on the way to her room. She was looking pale and tired. I asked her if she was okay, to which she replied "I keep getting these headaches".
• An intense headache stronger than any I had experienced before, identical to the one described above, except combined with heart palpitation, sweating, dehydration, laboured breathing and a much stronger feeling of pressure in my head. Disappeared abruptly the instant I left the room.
• The same symptoms as above except including an involuntary twitching of my neck muscles. It then suddenly changed to strong, painful physical pulsations in my head combined with the sensation of a rapid, increasing expansion of my brain with concomitant pressure. The pain was something I had never experienced before and I remember it distinctly - it was a vibrating pain. The vibration had three separate frequencies of pulsation. Each 'pulse' of the vibration was incredibly painful: there was a 'low' vibration, which I would hazard a guess was around 10 cycles or 'pulses' per second, a 'middle' frequency, which was much faster, and a 'high' frequency which was so fast it almost felt like one continuous, intensely searing pain. In addition to the sensation of increasing physical pressure in my head, my eye-balls expanded to the point that my eye-lids (shut tightly in pain at this point) were forced open by them. When the pulsations started, I slid off the edge of my bed where I was sitting onto the floor almost immediately, and after just 2 or 3 seconds I instinctively felt that if it did not stop I was going to die - after about 8 or 9 seconds and just at the point where I could feel that the tissues of my eye-balls and brain had expanded as far as they could and were about to burst, the intense physical pressure in both dropped to normal, the eyes returning to their normal size, within less than a second.
When I stood up, feeling slightly dazed but otherwise completely normal and pain-free, I, within 30 seconds, had the same sensation one occasionally gets after swimming in a pool when trapped water inside the ear leaks out - only it felt slightly more dense than water. It initially poured and then dribbled rapidly from the ear onto my right shoulder. I touched my hand to my ear and saw that it was blood with a bright, slightly pinkish hue. It continued to drip from my inner ear for about another 20 - 30 seconds. Within a few days of this happening, a fellow student who was staying in one of the other halls of residence (Brooke Hall) told me that one of the students there had just died from a massive brain hemorrhage - in effect exactly what I felt was about to happen to me.
• On one occasion, I decided to go for a stroll around the psychology department building. After about 5 minutes a lecturer suddenly appeared out of nowhere holding open the door I had just walked through, and asked me in a stern tone "What are you doing?". "I just though I'd go for a walk around the building," I replied. He replied, "Come on," in an irritated voice, pointing down the hall of the door which he was standing at, from which I had just come. He was in effect telling me to stop what I was doing and return to where I had come and/or leave the building, which I did. Why would he have done this? One possible explanation is the following: According to a friend of mine, he had been told by one of the psychology department lecturers, Pipa Dell, in the context of a conversation on the subject of brain washing, that there was a rumour that there was a secret laboratory below the psychology department's building on the Goldsmiths campus.
• Would occasionally experience the set of physiological symptoms associated with exposure to a strong microwave field while sitting and talking to fellow students in the psychology department during breaks between classes.
• Woke up one morning with a sensation of dull pain in my right arm at the inside elbow. I looked down and saw a small puncture mark the size and shape of that made by a hypodermic needle, surrounded by very slight yellowish bruising. Within a day or so I began to feel very energetic and alert, with, for a time, absolutely no need for sleep at all - I was awake for three days in a row without feeling the slightest bit tired. In addition, my thought processes changed dramatically: My thoughts became much, much faster and were composed (unless I made it otherwise) entirely of visual images and visual forms, that seemed to take the place of ordinary verbal thought. While in this state and during a conversation with a fellow student, he said to me at one point - "You look as though you're thinking a lot faster". Further, my general pace of speech increased. If I wanted to, I found that I could make myself talk at an incredibly high speed. I also never felt hungry. This state lasted for about two or three weeks.
• I was always a sanguine, even-tempered person - but within a few weeks of moving into my college room, I began to experience sudden very rapid mood swings, e.g., on one occasion, there was a wonderful sense of increasing joy followed instantaneously by absolute desperation. More often, on perhaps one or two dozen occasions, I would be instantly and inexplicably plunged into a state of complete desperation. Sudden, rapid, inexplicable mood swings are said by those who have researched the subject to be a sign of psychotronically-induced mood-alteration.
When the unusual mood swings first started, they took the form of sudden, inexplicable feelings of rage so intense that I would feel driven to break or hit objects in my room. This was totally out of character - anyone who knew me prior to this would have described me as a relaxed, mellow person. After one particularly intense experience - in which I was only just able to keep myself physically still in order not to hit anything - these events stopped entirely, and, except for one occasion just prior to the first-year exams, did not return again at college. Most notably, on one of these occasions, which resulted in me hitting and thereby breaking my lamp-shade, within a few minutes I heard a knock at the door. It was a woman by the name of Yasmin, (who was either the hall manager or the assistant hall manager), who had seemingly called for no other reason than to point out that my lamp shade was broken, hear my made-up excuse and then nonchalantly turn and leave without another word or explanation as to why she had called on me in the first place.
• On one or two occasions I would suddenly become tired and fall asleep at odd times of the day when I had already had a full night's sleep the previous night. I have subsequently studied the area of research into the effects of electromagnetism on the mind (known roughly as 'psychotronics', although 'psychotronics' can refer to influencing the mind by other means as well, such as sound) and have discovered that researchers in this area have stated that a person or animal can be put to sleep using pulse-modulated ELF electromagnetic signals that mimic the slower brain-wave rhythms of sleep, the Russian "Lida" machine being one example of declassified technology capable of this effect.
• I once woke up in the middle of the night, feeling wide-awake as though it were morning. Just as it is said to be possible to put someone to sleep, it is also said to be possible to wake them up using the right frequency of EM (electromagnetic) radiation.
• On one occasion the heating system broke down in the halls of residence. My room, however, remained comfortably warm the whole time, even though my radiator was cold to the touch. This unusual fact (the warmth of my room compared to the coldness of others') was noted by a fellow student on entering my room. What was keeping my room warm when the rest of the rooms in the halls (including those on the same level) were freezing cold? There must have been an alternative heat source active within my room at that time - two possibilities spring to mind:1) microwave-generated heat, and 2) infrared-generated heat. An instrument known as a clystron can generate frequencies across a wide band of the EM spectrum - including microwave, ultra-violet and infrared frequencies.
• On another occasion 'Asian Flu' was sweeping throughout the hall of residence. As might be expected, I caught it. However, it disappeared rapidly after my face became tanned - this in the middle of a cold, cloudy winter (a tanned face can be caused by exposure to ultra-violet radiation, which also destroys bacteria and pathogens).
• Later on, in early spring, I again received a tan without having been in the presence of strong sunshine, while at the same time the acne on my face disappeared entirely - this is also indicative of exposure to UV.
• Something had loosened in the attic of the hall of residence (the attic was just above the room I was on) and was making a loud thumping sound as it knocked about in drafts. The college handyman was called. I opened the door of my room just in time to see Yasmin whispering intently to him the following words:
"...you say nothing - you understand? - if you see anything, you say nothing!". He nodded with an expression of bewilderment. When he came down the ladder he had a look of concerned puzzlement on his face and when he stopped at the bottom, his eyes glanced alternately between my room, upwards to the attic and me. It was obvious that he had seen something up there, and that in his mind a connection had been made between what he had seen and my room.
• At one corner of the room, precisely at the junction of where the walls and the ceiling met, there was a perfectly circular hole about 1 to 2 inches in diameter. Noting it one day, I crumpled up some paper and placed it inside the hole, thinking that it might be the cause of drafts in the room. The crumpled paper was not at all obvious as it did not protrude beyond the hole, and would certainly have gone unnoticed by the cleaning lady, being barely visible to the naked eye and at a point in the room that would not normally be glanced at by her, especially as her cleaning duties involved only hoovering the floor. Further, the cleaner was a short lady who would not have been able to reach the hole without moving some furniture to stand on - nevertheless, the following day I looked up and saw that the piece of paper had been removed.
• At the top of my halls of residence, I noticed that there was a microwave transmission dish - an odd thing to have on top of a halls of residence - especially back in 1989 when microwave transmission dishes were rare. I have since worked out that it was pointing in the direction of the nearby territorial army centre a few streets away, though it has since been removed (after visiting a friend from college in 1999 who lives in South London - the same area where this halls of residence exists, I drove past it on the way back and noticed that the microwave dish was no longer there).
• When I mentioned some years later about my suspicions of what might have been happening to me in Stannard Hall, my father did admit that he had had the following odd experience when he arrived to drive me home at the end of the first year: Walking into the halls of residence and entering the reception room, he found no-one there. Seeing another door at the other end of the reception room, and thinking that a member of staff might be there for him to inform that he had come to pick me up, he walked towards it and began opening the door. Just as he was opening the door, Yasmin ran up to him from behind and yelled 'No!' in a panic, and forcibly blocked him from entering the room by placing her arms in front of him and shutting the door quickly.
• Though we were informed that it was rare for second year students to be allocated places in halls of residence, this due to a shortage of rooms, I was approached at the end of the first year by Yasmin and told that if I wanted to have a room in halls of residence during my second year, it could be arranged for me. She then muttered something along the lines of, "Oh it's so much easier in halls of residence ... You wont have to make your own food ... You know, everything is taken care of for you ...? " - her voice sounded unconvincing. Even though I never put two and two together regarding these experiences, I, perhaps subconsciously aware of something, felt the strong urge to leave Stannard Hall as soon as possible after the exams, which I did, and not to take up her offer.
Other events of note from my time at college are the following:
• In the second year of university I was living in a bedsit. I looked out the window one day to see a man standing at the end of the garden opposite and looking in my direction with binoculars. As soon as he saw that I had noticed him he turned and walked away.
• Returning on at least two occasions to my bedsit to find that one or two objects in the room had been moved around.
• In 1992, in my third year, I was journeying to college from home by train. Something which I dismissed at the time but which in retrospect seems significant is the following: I recall that on numerous occasions having alighted at Farringdon station to catch the tube to college I would pass a man wearing dark glasses who within seconds of me walking past would start walking behind me.
• Again, I recall occasions when the same scenario occurred when I arrived at New Cross Gate station to walk to college: In this case, a slightly rotund middle aged man would be waiting at the exit of the station and then begin walking behind me as I passed him. One one occasion, having noted that this had happened on more than one occasion, and thinking that the man might have been stalking me, I stopped in my tracks: I heard his footsteps immediately stop as well behind me, and it was a good few seconds before he started walking again and passed me.
• Although he no longer remembers the incident (it happened in 1991) I recall my brother , his girlfriend and a friend once noting to me when I visited them one day, that, when they had gone out to look at a mini that his girlfriend had just bought (which was parked in a drive located at the rear of the house), they had noticed a couple standing on the other side of the street at the back of the house, the man holding a black device and wearing headphones attached to it that he appeared to be pointing at their house, and that, when they returned to look at the mini again about an hour later, the couple were still there. The incident correlates with another about a year later, when Sara, my brother's girlfriend, noted on returning late from work one Friday evening, that there was always the same man standing on the pavement opposite wearing headphones attached to something that he was pointing in the direction of the the house. I suggested that it was probably a walkman, and this seemed to make sense at the time. Having since pieced together these two incidents, I would say that the probability that these people were simply listening to walkmen for hours at a time while unnaturally holding them in a particular direction (in each case the houses of friends I was visiting at the time) does seem to be just as unlikely as the probability (even without all the corroborating facts mentioned elsewhere here) that these people were using listening devices on these houses.
• In 1991 I visited Bournemouth in the South West of England with my parents. On the journey back, the same car was behind us from Bournemouth right to the end of the road where we live (a good hour or two's journey) where it then turned round and drove away.
• In 1992, returning from a Sufi meditation meeting, I had an extremely strange experience: standing at a tube station platform, waiting for the train (there had been a bomb scare and so there was a delay) I closed my eyes and fell into a very deep state of meditation (what I would call in fact a trance-state), but one in which I was still aware of my surroundings (sounds, etc). I recall the following: feeling my body being searched, feeling my back-pack being searched, a flash - like that of a camera-flash - going off in front of me, a sensation of pressure in my eyes and head almost identical to the one I experienced during the incident of the first year of university as noted above, although this time without pain and with the further difference that along with the sensation of expansive pressure from the brain, there was a simultaneous sensation of compressive force from outside it. In addition, I could feel that my heart was beating very fast and that my breathing had become very slow and deep, with a pronounced sensation of lack of oxygen during the in-breath (the sensation of a lack of oxygen combined with a rapid pulse is a reported physiological symptom of exposure to a strong microwave field). Other things I recall are the following: hearing the sound of someone's footsteps as they entered into that area of the station followed by a pause and then the sound of the same footsteps running away: Afterwards, hearing the sound of a woman's footsteps (i.e. high heels), again, entering the area of the station followed by a pause and then the sound of a woman's scream, then the sound of the same footsteps beginning to walk again, only this time at a slow, more quiet, 'cautious' pace. Subjectively, I had the strong sensation of weightlessness, as though my body were floating (under the research of Dr. Michael Persinger, the sensation of floating is a documented experience under the influence of certain types of electromagnetic fields on the mind). With the sound of the approaching tube train, I opened my eyes, and noticed that there was a person standing on the opposite platform holding a large steel briefcase under his arm with a circular hole covered in dark glass in the thin side of it, which was facing me. He was dressed exactly the same as the head of the psychology department at Goldsmiths college (Dr. David Rose) invariably used to dress (in a white suit) and although I did not get a close look at his face, was the same height and build. As I got on the train, and it started moving off, I saw in my peripheral vision this person collapse to the ground: Stranger still, another person on the opposite platform was pointing a video camera at me: When I got off the train to change for another, a group of about four or five people stood in a line a few feet in front of me, shoulder to shoulder, as if to block my path, all of them looking directly at me. Arriving home in St. Albans, I recall that even though, due to the continuing feeling of immense peace, I was walking quite slowly, someone else was matching my pace a few feet behind me all the way from the station to my house. Interestingly, when I got home I noticed that the door frame seemed a little low: As soon as my family saw me as I entered the sitting room, they all exclaimed in astonishment that I looked taller. I have since calculated that I had gained approximately 3 inches in height that evening. At the time I was just over 6 foot 2, meaning that I had gone from 6 foot 2 to 6 foot 5 in a matter of hours. I can think of only two possible explanations, neither of which I could possibly say with any certainty were true. Firstly, extremely high hormonal activity can cause rapid expansion of the cartilage between vertebrae, but while this is true, gaining three inches in height in such a short space of time with this as a reason is completely unheard of. Secondly, it is known that electromagnetic radiation of a specific type can cause a very rapid increase in the rate of biological activity within tissue and bone. However, as far as I am aware, the particular type of electromagnetic radiation in question is used only in the healing of bone fractures and the rapid repair of soft tissue damage in certain instances. While I have come across no mention of this technique as being capable of causing such a rapid, general increase in size of the body's skeletal framework, the fact that I was experiencing the set of symptoms associated with being within a strong electromagnetic field at the time this rapid increase in height occurred, and being aware that a great deal of medical research has been undertaken by many governments' covert agencies for military reasons, and combined with the fact that the results of this research is withheld from circulation to the general medical community, I am open to the possibility that the rapid increase in skeletal mass I experienced may have been the result of the application of a technology related to the above-mentioned technique (i.e. microwave bone-healing - what is in fact, at it's simplest level, the stimulation of the growth of bone tissue), though having to have been 'honed' to a fine art in this case. All I can say for certain is that, among the strange group of experiences I had that evening, one of them was the set of physiological symptoms associated with being within a strong electromagnetic field after which I was significantly taller. As to whether there was a strong electromagnetic field in reality and that (by accident or design) this caused either a direct rapid increase in bone growth, or the intense stimulation of hormones whose known effects include the expansion of cartilage, I simply cannot say. At any rate, what I can say with certainty is that since the evening where I gained 3 inches in height, and after which subsequently returned to my normal 6 foot 2, I have now lost nearly three inches in height - I now measure only 5 foot 11 and a half. This very gradual loss in height became apparent in August 1995 when I was measured for my UK passport.
Finally, prior to entering into the train station where all this grand weirdness commenced, I, along with many, many others were waiting for the police to give the go-ahead to enter the station, which was closed due to the bomb-scare previously mentioned. Of course, as soon as the go-ahead was given, we started to walk towards the station. Initially I was at the head of the crowd. However, within a matter of seconds, the crowd broke into a stampede. Due to the state of blissful peace I was in that evening after having left the Sufi meditation meeting, I decided that I did not wish to start running, and continued at my slow pace. During the stampede, at least two people pushed me very hard with their hands as they ran past me, but thanks to my state of physical relaxation, the force of each shove was absorbed by my body and I remained standing. Each time I was shoved (on the first occasion on the upper arm immediately below the right shoulder and on the second occasion on the left shoulder), the direction was from behind and well to the side of my body, so it could not have been the case that I was actually in these people's way at the time they tried to push me, and therefore, whatever the reason these two people pushed me for, they were certainly not simply trying to push me out of their way in order to avoid a collision.
I now have supporting physical evidence for the presence of microwave radiation in the house where I am staying, using a standard test for the presence of microwaves involving tinfoil. I spoke with an scientific expert in the field, who stated that the levels necessary to produce this effect on tinfoil are far above those power densities produced by common commercial sources of microwave radiation such as mobile phones and mobile phone masts.
Below is one of the sheets of tinfoil on which appeared the characteristic 'broken' lines indicating the presence of a strong pulse-modulated microwave field.
The situation at the time of writing (2000) seems to be the following:
Along with symptoms of microwave poisoning, I am getting a continuous faint, but nevertheless clearly audible, deep-bass hum when I go to bed at night (which other members of my family have noticed when it has been pointed it out to them, but which, naturally they have attributed to innocuous phenomena, for example an electrical hum from somewhere). In Christmas 1999, on a visit from my sister and her husband, I was awoken at 6 am by this sound, as was their 3 year old daughter, who found it very distressing.
I am a freelance graphic designer and mac operator and have found that, since November 1998, on the few occasions I have worked at places outside my home, where I normally work, I have become subject to a state of intense anxiety making working outside my home a considerable ordeal. An unusual, inexplicable intensity of anxiety, which is coupled with other indicators such as mild heart palpitation.
Other things I have noticed are the following - commencing in around August of 1999, I would wake up for no reason at around 6 am in the morning, feeling very heavy-headed - neither really awake nor asleep. I would then very gradually drift back off to sleep. As this occurred more and more in the proceeding days, I found that during the day, my normal mental waking state became more and more 'dull' and 'heavy' and less and less alert.
Immediately prior to this, I began liaising with Kathy Kasten, who is a campaigner in America against microwave harassment. Within a few days, I found that my emails were getting bounced back with the statement that her email address did not exist.
In March 2000 I attended a demonstration against the use microwave technology for harassment and non-consensual human experimentation outside the National Security Association's headquarters at Menwith Hill in North Yorkshire. I spoke to a woman who had been involved in campaigning vociferously against the illegal felling of protected trees near where she lived, who claimed that she had been targetted for covert harassment as a result. She also learned that she had been made sterile - when she went for tests her doctor informed her that the results of the tests showed that, inexplicably, something had literally 'cooked' her ovaries. Both I and George Farquhar, who heads Project Freedom, at the time one of the UK's campaign groups dedicated to exposing these phenomena, felt the physiological symptoms at times of being exposed to microwaves.
At the time of writing this addition (4/06/00), I have developed problems with receiving email. My brother was unable to send an email to one of my addresses - it was bounced back. A second email address, held in a subscription ISP account, has bounced back email messages from the same ISP's help-line operator when he tried to give me information regarding the sudden appearance of files in my web-space. He said that, as my account was still active, he knew of no explanation as to why he could not send a message to my account's email address.
Curiously, I have found that there have been instances where I have discovered small alterations in the text of this and another file that I have written in on my hard drive: for example, in one of the sections above where I mention the words "Person A", "Person B", etc, I discovered while updating the file that instead of the last line referring to "Person A" as has previously been the case on the copy on my computer, it read "Person D". In the text above, the phrase 'first year ' (of university) was replaced in two instances with 'fist year'. Further, in the section below where it sates "2) Smelling a musty odour" I found it to read "2) Smelling a mostly odour", though there may of course be perfectly normal explanations for this - for example a computer virus or worm that has as yet remained undetected, though as to why it would target only this file and one other I don't know.
Other events that I thought may have been of significance but of which of course also have many perfectly normal explanations are the following:
1) Waking up with my hands behind my head. While it proves nothing, of the available literature, the accounts of those who have had experiences suggesting they have been the subject of some form of covert behavioural-manipulation operation do include a number of identical experiences, one of which (as for example, experienced by Kathy Kasten in the US) is that of finding themselves waking up in an unusual sleeping position.
2) Smelling a musty odour coming from the water of the taps of the newly fitted bathroom, then the kettle downstairs and then the fan heater and the toaster. I noticed that after drinking or bathing in this musty-smelling water I felt dull-headed. Of course there may be many perfectly normal explanations, for example, over-tiredness generally or possibly an infection of the water with some form of bacteria or organism that causes these effects.
Starting the 8th January 2001, I appeared to be overhearing the phrase "He's dead" in conversations from passers-by. Of course, it could simply have been "He said", or "He's ahead" or some similar phrase that I misheard, or even perhaps didn't hear at all: While I do not like to think that I might be prone to aural hallucination, I am aware that lack of sleep (having been unable to sleep the entire night previously to the event and having had some difficulty in gaining normal uninterrupted sleep generally now for several months) can temporarily cause such distortions of perception.
Having said all this though, it may yet still be possible that I indeed did hear correctly the phrase "He's dead" said by numerous passers-by; it would certainly fit within the context of some form of psychological warfare, a type of operation known to be used by agencies of, and those associated with, the military (the MI in MI5 does after all stand for Military Intelligence). If this phrase was misheard, one wonders at the incredible coincidence of having misheard it on so many occasions. If on the other hand, it were aural hallucination, it would not account for the fact that on frequent occasions I saw the lips of those from whom I apparently heard this phrase match what appeared to be the spoken words. In that case, and if it were a combined visual-auditory hallucination, it was so realistic and identical to everyday experience that I would have to say it that it must also, if accepted, demand the possibility that I am currently undergoing a hallucination in which I appear to be typing in these words into a text-editor on my computer!
I now have recorded evidence for this occurance. I was sitting at a cafe in London having a tea when an individual in a group approaching me called out "Dead - he's dead". My personal dictaphone happened to be on at the time and recorded it. You can hear it by clicking on the link below:
Return to previous section
As for the musty odour that initially came from the water taps of the newly-fitted bathroom but which then spread to other points in the house, for example the kettle - if it were some form of bacteria or organism, that would not explain how the same odour came to be present in the toaster which would at no point comes into contact with water and in which the filaments reach an operating temperature high enough to destroy bacteria. Equally, if as I also found, the unusually 'sedative' effect mentioned above were also induced by drinking tea made from the boiled water (both sharing the same musty odour) of the kettle by bacteria, then any organism possibly responsible for that effect should have been destroyed by the boiling temperature of the water, and thereby should not have had any effect when consumed. However, as I do not have sufficient scientific knowledge of the possible range of biological effects any residues of bacteria or organisms may have after being boiled, I cannot make any definite statements on the matter.
However, subjectively, I can say that since August 1999 I have experienced a progressive deterioration in the quality of my attention and mental faculties, that is, I find it increasingly difficult to sustain directed attention. This has been associated with an increasing numbness in the skin of my forehead which has gradually spread downwards to now include most of the skin on my body. I have visited my doctor in relation to this: I was informed that, according to what my doctor was aware of, a brain lesion would be the only possible cause for any numbness in the area of the face, and that therefore this sensation was most likely all in my mind (I must add that on a previous visit in 1997 during which I spoke of my belief that I was being investigated, that is, being followed, my doctor stated that such beliefs were a sign of paranoid schizophrenia and has since, understandably according to medical training, labelled me as such). In order to obtain a second opinion, I visited another doctor who enquired as to whether I had simultaneously experienced a loss of muscular power, which is the case: He stated that loss of sensation (paraesthesia) combined with loss in muscle power may be indicative of peripheral nerve damage. Equally, though, he did state that another possibility was that the sensation was due to 'somatisation' (in effect, all in the mind).
In May of 2001 I attempted to deliver a petition to 10 Downing Street in support of a European Parliament resolution in favour of a ban on technologies capable of influencing behaviour. On the first day, as a result of arriving late due to getting lost on the way in London, I was told that it was too late to deliver petitions. I duly phoned again the next day to arrange another appointment. However, on arrival I was told by the police manning the gates that there was no record of my application and would therefore not be able to deliver the petition. The following day I made another appointment, but on arrival was told that, once again, there was no record of my application. The next day, to make absolutely sure, I made a taped conversation of my application, and transferred this to my personal dictaphone and took this with me. Interestingly, on this occasion I was admitted through the gates to deliver the petition. The reply I received was a letter stating that the subject of the petition was a matter for the Home Office and a statement that they had passed the letter on to them. However, no reply was received from the Home Office.
In July of 2001 I was illegally sectioned under the Mental Health Act by a police officer. While standing outside my parked car near a roundabout, a police car approached and stopped nearby. Two police officers got out and walked over to my car. I explained that I was lost and was trying to work out where to go next. One of the police officers asked my name and address. I did not answer her question but explained in my reply that I was stopped on the layby in order to work out where I should go next. She stated that my response was not a normal one and proceeded to section me. While in the police car I was told that I was going to be taken to Burton-on-Trent Hospital. However, the police then received a call telling them not to take me to the hospital but Farnborough Police Prison instead. When I was going through the preliminary process involved in any new person's arrival at a police prison, for example filling out forms, etc, I was handed a piece of paper by an officer and told to sign it. Before signing it I looked at it. I noticed that a box had been ticked by the officer that stated "Have appropriated evidense of criminal activity" when none existed. When I pointed this out to the officer, he apologised, crossed it out and put his initials next to it.
At one point, after some of my relatives had arrived, we were told that some violent prisoners were soon to arrive at the prison, and told that for our safety we would be kept in a locked room within the facility. This turned out to be a room, rather as one would see in movies where suspects are questioned, with a mirror taking up the upper half of one of the walls. We were kept in there for two or three hours. At one point, I began to feel an intense, uncomfortable sensation of something hot and energetic at the front of my head. Just as with a headache where one has a spacial sense of the brain, due to nerves on the surface transmitting pain signals, I had the sensation that, spatially, the front of my brain was being simultaneously heated and destroyed. The door to the room unlocked, moving slightly ajar, at one point and I got up and walked outside. During the few moments I was outside, and almost at once, I suddenly found myself feeling as though I had been lobotomised - my mind felt as though I had entered into an almost vegetative state. I walked back into the room I had come out of and a police officer arrived to say that we could go now. I found myself smiling inanely. As we were standing at the front entrance desk to the prison, one of the people there turned to me and asked me how many miles it was from Milton Keynes to St Albans. Normally I would have known. I did not have a clue, and could only smile at her. At this point two police officers arrived to drive me to a mental institution. One of the police officers, on walking in, looked at me and then spoke into her communications radio the words, "We've got a lover."
As I sat down in the car, one of the police officers started to fasten my seat-belt for me. That is, he assumed for some reason, that I would have been incapable of doing it for myself. During the journey to the mental institution, the police officers began to speak to me. As soon as I started to engage in conversation I began to find myself returning to a normal state of mind, until, by the end of the journey, and having been able to engage in an every-day conversation with the officers, I found that I had completely recovered my mental faculties.
While I have no evidense that I was deliberately, illegally sectioned, I do recall a similar experience on the part of another individual whom I met previously in a meeting of TIs (Targetted Individuals as the phrase is), and whom I have mentioned earlier. To summarise, she believed she was being targetted and harassed by bio-weapons for being a vociferous campaigner against the illegal felling of protected trees. After a visit to her doctor and a number of tests, as I mentioned, she was told that she was sterile due to the fact that, inexplicably, according to the doctor, her something had literally 'cooked'. her ovaries. She believed this had been done deliberated using focused microwaves. She decided to take the evidense she had to The Guardian newspaper. On the way there her car was stopped by the police and she was illegally sectioned on the spot by the officers.
As stated earlier, starting around the 8th January 2001, I appeared to be overhearing the phrase "He's dead" from passers-by.
Having heard this phrase from so many passers-by, together with the belief that I was subject to some form of covert operation, I interpreted it to mean that I was going to be killed. This put me into a state in which I felt it was imperative to contact someone in authority. In this respect I did something very stupid, and which would certainly have discredited me. I had previously heard on a news item that a member of the House of Lords (Lord King of Wartnaby) was responsible for reviewing spying cases and, feeling that I was suspected of being involved in spying activities, I went to the Houses of Parliament in the hope of speaking to him, as I felt that he may have come across my name as a suspected spy, and intending to explain to him what I felt was happening to me. Asking people outside the Houses of Parliament how I might be able to get to the House of Lords, I was given a variety of answers, but almost all of which told me "You've got to get passed the police." Feeling at my wits' end, I foolishly told a police officer manning the gates that I was this Lord's personal assistant and that I had lost my pass. A completely idiotic thing to do. Naturally when he discovered that I wasn't a personal assistant, that is, when he rang through to see if I was entitled to a pass, he told me that my name had been taken down and that henceforth I would be banned from entering the House of Lords. This action, of course, would have thoroughly discredited me, and I deeply regret it.
At the time of the current addition (May 2004) I have experienced the following:
I still, admittedly occasionally, hear the phrase "He's dead".
My quality of attention is still gradually deteriorating with simultaneous gradual reduction in sensation in the skin, while continuously waking early in the morning in the same unusually 'heavy' mental state and then gradually falling asleep again, as stated above.
In July 2003 I moved to France. At one point I was staying in a hostel. There I met someone by the name of Wayne Farrel. He claimed to be a special forces operative for the French government, and had originally been in the French Foreign Legion, but was currently on sick leave as a result of an accident injuring his leg. He seemed remarkably free with information relating to covert operations he had engaged in, as was noted by another person with whom I became friends with at the hostel. Among other things, he said he had been involved in covert operations for the French Government that had involved assassination, and informed me that the claim that MI5 no longer kill is untrue, that is, that he had been involved in operations including agents from MI5 where this had taken place. He told me that he was a member of the masons, and indicated by one comment that he passed that he was in favor of the "total control" of society. He also told me that, using interrogation techniques, you could get someone down to "the basic building blocks of personality," to which he concluded, "It's a science." He was remarkably observant and also told me that he had studied Neuro Linguistic Programming, and described one or two techniques that could be used to manipulate another's behaviour using it. At the end of one of our conversations, he said the following to me while looking down:
"It's just that a door is open for you. You'll never have to worry about money or personal security again." As I was leaving he said "Ponder over what I've said." Was this an offer to join the secret services, or some clandestine organisation? This was later confirmed. When I met him later I asked him out of curiosity what the process for joining was. He mistakenly took this as a request from me to join, as he said "If you are an investigative journalist I can't recruit you. Otherwise - are you free tomorrow evening?" On another occasion I told him that if I were to be recruited I would not want to take part in any operations involving the death of anyone, to which he replied at a later point, "If you don't want to be involved in operations involving the death of anyone you may as well join the Royal Society for the Protection of Birds."
When it became clear to him that I did not wish to be recruited, he began to pass a series of comments when in my vicinity which included the following:
"I'd check your brakes on the hill there." (I was driving a car in France and the hostel was situated at the top of a hill.)
And, said loudly and emphatically as I was leaving the hostel on another occasion:
Curiously, he also subsequently began to take an unusual degree of interest in the cans and bottles of soft drinks I was drinking, asking to see them and when taking them in his hand looking at the label for a number of seconds.
On another occasion, I had been asked to change rooms by the hostel manager. In the morning the hostel offered breakfast including fruit juice as part of the price. The room I was in had two levels. I was on the upper level. I awoke the first morning to hear the door below being opened. I heard the voice of Wayne Farrel say "The fruit juice is drugged" to someone on the lower level, and then leave the room. Would they choose to drug the fruit juice that other people would be drinking from as well? Well, in a sense, yes and no. It is possible using microwaves to enlarge the small holes in the blood-brain barrier to allow relatively large molecules through. If this has been done to someone, it would be possible to introduce drugs into their system in this way while others, consuming or drinking the same thing would not be affected, due to the fact that their blood-brain barrier has not been damaged to allow the passage of any such substance, that is, a drug with a high molecular weight.
While there are arguments on both sides as to whether I myself have been subject to some form of operation involving the use of microwave anti-personnel or neuro-influencing devices, I believe the following to be true:
The issue of the increasing risk (due perhaps in part to 'outside the law' proliferation of technology) of the potential misuse of mind-influencing technologies (such as the patented 'Silent Sound' technology used during the Gulf War) in which, quite covertly and almost tracelessly, such technology may be deployed in an attempt to influence the minds of politicians, judges and civil servants, as well as that of members of the general public is, if not already so, at immediate moment now of vital importance to face, uncover and overcome.
At the time of writing (17/06/01) the address of the production company able to supply a copy of the documentary "True Stories: Deadly Experiments" on the covert non-consensual human experiments into radiation is:
20 20 Productions
20 Kentish Town Rd
London NW1 9NX
Justin Smith John Walsh John Hughes Top
Testimonial of John Walsh
I had a problem with a freemason in the Summer of 1995. He lives in this area of the country. His marriage was breaking down and his wife asked me if there was a way to save it, as she had fallen out of love with him. I told her she could retrieve the situation if she did the study group work that I promote. So we eventually started a study group in her home. The mason told the police in his Masonic lodge that I was having an affair with his wife. I expect he did this because he didn't want the group in his house. However, I don't know if he ever told them the whole story. After one particular meeting, I had two police cars accompanying me all the way home. They were so close to the bumper of my car that I could see all four faces clearly, all the way. It is an accepted fact that nearly all the police here are either in the masons or are close to them. At that point I knew there was something seriously wrong. I also already knew they were tapping my phone. As a matter of interest, the wife told me at the end of a year and a half, that she had fallen in love with her husband again. At this point the scenario I was into with the police here in the north east should have resolved itself. But it seems there was no way back for them by this time as they had already told too many lies about me to too many people. They couldn't go back on the false evidence they would have had to create to convince supporters of theirs to also attack me. It has just got worse ever since.
To get my neighbours to co-operate with them, the police told them that I was in the IRA. They would have created documents I'm sure, to persuade everyone that I was a threat to the state. I had official police cars following me everywhere I went for some weeks. After that they used unmarked cars as they still do today.
I came from Ireland to live here, 44 years ago. I lived in a monastery until I was 33. Then I went into teaching in the state system despite being offered easier jobs in a number of church schools. I've given my life to the people of this country ever since. I still cherish them despite everything some masons have thrown at me these past four years. I am very aware that only a small number are involved because some of my best friends are masons. I have no friends in Ireland and I don't know any people from the north of Ireland. My two friends living there are from New Zealand and Scotland. All my friends are here as must be quite obvious to anyone, unless the police persuade them otherwise. My nephew works for the American Secret Service and when I met him at a family gathering in Ireland two years ago, the only time I heard the words IRA mentioned the whole week-end, was when he gave me a third degree grilling on my allegiance to that organisation. After that I had to conclude that the police, the MOD, MI5 and MI6 were all united through masonry in their attack on my life.
When the decision was made to kill me I don't know, but it was put into effect at the end of 1996. An Ex MOD worker told a friend of mine that the decision was made high up. It had to be of course, because of the resources that had to be put into achieving what did eventually come about. It obviously had to be done clandestinely.
By January of 1997, the police had acquired the house next to my place of work, that is, they had acquired 12, Prospect Terrace. They also acquired 99, Lily Gardens at the same time. I sleep in 98 Lily Gardens. What I realised about 99 Lily Gardens was that during all of 1997, the occupants only came to stay there for about three nights in every month and when they did, they made a great show of being in residence. The people living next door to 13, Prospect Terrace were out all day, every day. In other words I was open to being attacked both day and night of that year. At the time I assumed that it was just listening devices that were being used against me and I found it very difficult to understand how the effects of these devices could be felt all over my body but particularly in my stomach. By June I had completely lost my short term memory and had begun to take avoidance action by staying out of 13, Prospect Terrace as well as out of 98, Lily Gardens as much as I could. This was difficult as the police followed me at all the times and photographed me to such an extent that it was often embarrassing. The owners of restaurants and pubs that I went to eat in, were undoubtedly told that I was with the IRA. The police told the people who live in Lily Gardens, in late 1996, that I was with the IRA. This was how they got these council tenants next to my house, to leave. I couldn't leave because I owned mine. They immobilised the burglar alarm on my home as well as the alarm in 13, Prospect Terrace at this time also. This gave them access to both premises which they have used a number of times since.
By September of 1997, I was very sick in all kinds of ways. My short term memory was almost completely gone and when my body crashed at the end of the month I was not surprised. Inside one week my whole body was covered in psoriasis from head to toe, apart from the soles of my feet and the palms of my hands. My body couldn't digest anything. My digestive system, my senses, as well as the organs in my body are still not working right. My hair fell out, my body became weak and my legs stopped functioning. I could walk no more that eight to ten steps at a time and then I would collapse. The pain in both my legs was unbearable. Luckily, two of my friends gave up work and their home lives to stay with me 12 hours a day, at 13, Prospect Terrace, where my work is, and they nursed me back to health with the right food and natural therapies that few others could apply so well. Early in November I was able to partially function again, though I had lost more than two stones in weight. I got dressed every day, but had to lie on a settee all day, to ease the pains of burning in my legs. By then I had returned to sleep in 98, Lily Gardens. Luckily, this time I decided not to sleep with my head next to the wall between my house and 99, Lily Gardens. This meant that my legs got burned badly but my head and brain were partially saved. At this time, both my friend and myself began to hear a humming sound coming through the walls of both premises. It seemed they intensified the microwave charge at this time. They seemed to be desperate to finish me off. We assumed that the noise was the reason behind all my problems. A friend then told me, in early February, 1998, that they were using microwaves against me and that they were trying to kill me. By testing with a microwave detector I realised that what I was told was true. We now know the effects that tiny doses of microwaves can do to the brain, when using cellular phones. I had been living in an environment in which the doses coming through the wall reached close to 600 watts at any one time.
By mid December 1997, my legs had been burned badly, and my ability to walk was affected more and more, as every day went by. I got away for Christmas but the break didn't do me any good. I lay on a settee for ten days. At the time I thought they had followed me, as I seemed to be getting worse. Early in March I wrote to the Home Office and told them what was going on. The noises stopped. By then there was continuous excruciating pain in the calves of both legs. I had to keep my legs raised to the level of my body to allow the pain to become bearable. This lasted for six months and the pain has eased only slowly since then. It is now almost gone. The skin is still black on both legs even after a year and a half. The caked blood under the skin has left my legs an ugly sight to look at and it means I have to cover them up most of the time. I only have the courage to uncover them, when people ask to see the burned skin.
Using the microwave detection device as well as a sound detection device, I found that the police only stopped what they were doing for a very short time. They then introduced microwaves without the sounds. They have now decided to kill me more slowly. I can't sleep in the main bedroom of my home in Dipton. I built a Faraday Cage around my bed in that room but it only partially worked against the microwaves. The microwaves there are close to 500 watts at the time of writing this letter. I test them every night before I go to sleep in the next room. They only penetrate to the small bedroom at a lower level of strength, just above 100 watts. My body is standing up to this only reasonably well, making my recovery a very slow process. My friends and helpers who nursed me back to health, sleep in a microwaved room every night, in their own home, and they are both unwell right now and have been for some time. There's a police worker living next door to them, that is, in 15 Scott Road, Bishop Auckland. My friends live in number 17. Apart from their main bedroom they have no other room to sleep in. My friend's house, in which I stay when I work in the London area, 98, Dorset Road, Merton Park, has microwaves all over the upper floor where my room is. My friend sleeps in the next room and is engulfed in these microwaves all the time. I've tested his house a number of times. They have listening devices planted in 100 Dorset Road also. The microwaves are either coming from my friend's own attic or from the attic of the house next door: 100, Dorset Road. I've tested the building thoroughly. Microwaves go through walls quite easily. Only the special casing one gets on a microwave oven can block them. I don't have the courage to tell my friend what is going on. His health is being destroyed right now.
When I had my windows changed last year to double glazed windows, the supplier didn't have them made where he usually does, in Scunthorpe. He had them made in the factory they use for this purpose in Derby. The windows are the same as the ones used in London, some 30 years ago, when the Embassy of a particular Eastern Block country was attacked by our people. It was only discovered when everyone in the embassy became sick. The same is now happening at my place of work. Glass can't respond positively to microwaves unless someone is beaming microwaves at the building and the glass is doctored to respond. My detector can't measure under 100 watts but it responds to what is coming from the back window of 13, Prospect Tce. I have these effects recorded on video for evidence, in case these letters I am writing force these people to change their tactics to get rid of me.
I've had to buy a new computer so that I could go on the internet. I couldn't risk police interference with my current computer, the one on which I keep my mailing list, because I know what would soon happen to it. My friend, who works in a computer supply shop, took all the pieces off shelves loaded with parts of every kind and made the computer he sold me, in half a day. He brought it to my home the same day. Again, by being able to break into my premises they have tampered with the copmuter so that it emits microwaves. This means I can't use it. We've tested my friend's own computer, which is the same as mine and it doesn't respond to the testing equipment in any way. In other words, he also knows that my computer has been interfered with. His telephone is now being interfered with by the police, every time I am with him or when I ring him. They have been subtly blackmailing him into acting against me, which he has now done.
The typewriter in my office, gives out microwaves all the time so I have to keep it unplugged when it's not in use. Switching it off is no good. They have by-passed the transformer. Rothmans sent a radio as a gift last Christmas to one of my two volunteers here at the centre. It was not asked for. When we tested it for microwaves we found it was also interfered with. They went round the transformer, so when it was switched off the microwaves kept coming. I have it in a safe place with many other items as evidence, right now. By late Summer of 1995, I had official police cars following me everywhere I went. After some weeks they began to follow me in unmarked cars which they do to this day. They also tapped my telephone and made it clear to me that they were doing this by getting one of their people to tell me. They did the same with listening devices on the walls of my home in Dipton as well as in my work place. When I made arrangements verbally, face to face with friends at the Centre, to go somewhere, I would be followed. They seemed to want to make sure that I knew I was being harassed to frighten me or whatever. What they were doing made it obvious that they had listening devices in the houses next door. When I used sound detection devices this was confirmed. I now have pencil marks on the walls marking the places where these devices are, so that I can show them to friends, which I do, as I know I will need their evidence to support me, one day.
They used video cameras when they followed me to Ireland when I was there helping my sister who is very sick. I think this was done to intimidate me. They also stopped the AA coming to help me, both in Ireland and in England, when I needed their help. I run a small business by post and the masons in the post offices broke and destroyed many packages sent from 12, Prospect. They only stopped doing this is early 1999. The breakages took place every week for three years, starting in 1996. We never had breakages before that time. What they were doing caused us so much hassle with customers. This action raised our turnover in an artificial way. We didn't mind about the cost because we are a non-profit making operation. But the harassment was unbearable at times, because we knew they were also using masons to pretend they were bona fide customers. These latter harassed us more than our regulars would ever dream of doing. I take no salary as such, from the business but it does support me when I travel to give talks and start study groups. This was the secondary reason we began to sell the products the people wanted. We knew the profits would help to fund my outreach. I live on my pensions and any spare money I have goes into the work I do, as did all the money I took from London with me, when I came to Durham. We tailor our expenditure depending on how much is available to spend. We print 4,500 substantial newsletters and these are sent out free of charge because many people in our organisation are senior citizens. When we started to get study groups going, so many people asked us to sell the books and remedies that we felt obliged to do so. They can't be had anywhere else in the country.
The masons with the help of police, damaged my home at 98 Lily Gardens by knocking out my central heating system and damaging the roof. They used a ploy to get inside. When I put my car in for a respray, it took three days more than I had been promised and when I got it back it was damaged in so many ways that it took a long time to put it right. I was almost killed taking it on to a main road after the respray when I found the brakes wouldn't work. Luckily the road was clear. When I tried to get the windscreen wipers to work properly, a Rover main dealer told me that the relays, the electric controls, had been interfered with. Having repaired them he told me he couldn't promise it would be permanent and he was right. Even my dentist caused me problems and when I decided no longer to use him, on my last visit to him he told me he had lost my file. It is ten steps from his treatment room to his office cabinet where the files are kept. I wonder how he managed to lose it? My next dentist called the dentures he made for me "quite bizarre." Then they got to her and the old scenario is now being replayed for the second time.
They tapped into my phone lines both in Lily Gardens and at 13, Prospect Terrace. They also put listening devices into both 97 and 99 Lily Gardens and into 12, Prospect Terrace. This meant that they knew everything I did or planned to do and obstructed me in every way they could by following me wherever I went. They've had a police worker in 97 Lily Gardens for almost three and a half years and someone from MI5 or the Ministry of Defence (MoD) in both 99 Lily Gardens and 12 Prospect Terrace for two and a half years. I don't know if the present occupant of 97 Lily Gardens is aware of the fact that there are listening devices in the walls of her house, but they are still there. She came to live there about two months ago. I was never bothered much by these activities because all my life I've lived it as honourably as I possibly could and never harmed anyone. This meant I had no worries about who heard my telephone conversations or who knew where I was going. In late February 1998, I wrote to the Home Office telling them what was going on and by early March the noise making devices were switched off and the new type were switched on. During these past four years I've not had a break of any kind apart from periods in which I was recovering from the attacks made on me by government employees. All my expenses have been on the work I do or on my efforts to stay alive. Even my journey to the family gathering in Ireland in 1997, was mainly for the work of the centre. Had I not had the business to attend to I wouldn't have gone. I'm now into my fifth year in what is worse than prison. Of course I was not supposed to survive that sickness in 1997. In normal circumstances I would be dead and their mission would have been accomplished. Obviously their other attempts against other unsuspecting people have been successful. Had I died, I would have died of natural causes. However, it hasn't worked out that way for them this time. My survival has caused them problems they have never had to face before.
Justin Smith John Walsh John Hughes Top
Testimonial of John Hughes
My Experiences as an Involuntary Subject of Directed Energy Weapons
by John Hughes
This is not a pretty tale, though it is true, and my interpretations as to the cause of events are open to re-interpretation by the reader as long as all the facts remain in alignment. I don't consider negating or plain refuting events as constructive, and would consider such as spurious meddling. Unfortunately this has been the habit of the clinical community, who have uniformly gone for the blinkers-on diagnosis, and in doing so, severely compromised my treatment for Attention Deficit Disorder and thwarted any forward progress in attaining its amelioration.
Within the scope of being under surveillance and being harassed by an organized body with highly advanced technical methods, the purpose of this document is to summarize the events and thoughts and to categorize relevant occurrences and to consolidate my journal entries. The intended audience is anyone who has an interest in covert injury applied to involuntary test subjects. Many of the stories are supported by a train of detailed evidence which would be too onerous to detail here. However, I will freely communicate with those that I trust should a need arise to elaborate on a story. Another audience is those who can offer assistance in the form of helping me get this monkey off my back. It is truly a personal hell on several levels: 1) no one in my immediate family believes me, hence all conversation drops dead concerning my health 2) physicians and other care-givers have not even enquired into the validity of account, when in fact the tenets of this kind of experience have all been documented decades ago.
Beyond my own health concerns, I have absolutely no interest in Directed Energy Weapons (DEWs). I only ended up being involved in this because I have been assaulted and harassed by them, or something of its kind. It is no coincidence that the accounts of others have a high degree of correlation with my own (see www.raven1.net). Why did they pick me? Some thoughts; I live alone, I am a Canadian resident with a temporary US working visa, and I have ADD which serves as a psychiatric "cover" on which to blame the symptoms of harassment, and if they can get a hold of the brain scan I had last year, they can precisely focus their directed energy weapons to specific locations in the brain. Two related odd coincidences on one day indicated that they might be doing just that. Other brief biographic details is that I am 48 yo (11-2002), and I have no military or law enforcement background or contacts. I am a law abiding individual, and do not engage in any suspicious activities.
Early Days mid-1999 to Oct. 2001
I moved to Everett WA from Victoria BC Canada in July 1999. At this time I was separating from my wife, though we had joint property in Victoria to maintain. I would also visit my daughter too. At this time I would visit every weekend to attend to the property.
I began to work for a company CGF (an alias) under a TN working visa, which is good for one year, though they can be re-granted if the employer's paperwork is in order. I became friendly with one co-worker in particular, BT who was kind enough to show me the ropes of the workplace and the American way of doing things, which of course has a slightly different spin than in Canada. He and I shared similar perspectives and he left CGF for JEZ (an alias) in downtown Seattle in early 2000. He persuaded me to work for him in May and with the added incentive of a salary increase, and more interesting work prospects, and I had no hesitation in making the switch to a new employer.
This period was uneventful by any other measure, though there were a few anomalies in hindsight. One, I lost my wallet at the last show in a nearby cinema, and did not find it on my immediate return to the parking area, and nor did the cinema operators find it when I phoned at opening time the next day. The other was that I was randomly searched at the US border and as per the US Customs prerogative; I declared my medications when the officer asked, as the law requires that they should be in their appropriate containers. I should note that the selection method did appear random to me at the time or in hindsight, as an officer came from the main office, rather than being directed from an inspection station.
At this time I was struggling to get properly treated for Attention Deficit Disorder, and it was quite a push to find a knowledgeable doctor, though I was being treated for low grade depression, but the medications were not successful.
From May through to Oct. 2000 I commuted on the bus from Everett to Seattle, and it was there I met Ms C. We had an on/off relationship, on account of unbridgeable differences, though there was sufficient commonality to stay within each other's orbits. My move into downtown Seattle expedited the "off" portion of our association, but I this did not perturb me any. What I did find, dating anew, was that I had a terrible time keeping time commitments and estimating travel time, though sometimes I wonder if someone hadn't turned on the "dither" frequency on me, as there is an eerie consistency I have with this new found bad habit when seeing Ms C. In any event, such habits meant that I wasn't ready for prime time dating, and that I had better apply myself to get better.
As a natural part of our working relationship and friendship, BT and I would often lunch together and do other weekday "bonding" activities like touring the better stores to shop. BT has an easy going conversational manner such that people open up to him, and I was no exception. This easy going relational style persisted most of the time, and he and I would often talk about our "women" issues for mutual gain and camaraderie.
The year 2000 was relatively uneventful from any kind of surveillance/harassment perspective as I saw it. Of possible connection was that my doctor ordered an MRI scan for a potential pituitary gland problem in Nov. 2000. My mood was still low, though I had started on Dexedrine for ADD, a cousin of methamphetamine. Dexedrine was a big helper, and is one of the most successful medications I take, that is, when I can now. Most ADD specialists are not afraid of Dexedrine, despite the reputation of its cousin, and will publicly state that it is "safer than penicillin", as they have done more than once in the presentations I have been to. At this time, there were still difficulties in "getting my act together" which prompted me to seek more expert advice.
I sought a SPECT scan in March 2001 at a specialty ADD clinic, and I was officially diagnosed with ADD and came back armed with a number of medication recommendations. One of those took me into a lower mood state and caused me to be less capable, and it took two months to figure that out. As part of carrying on with getting better, I selected a doctor, Dr N, who shared a much more quantitative approach to evaluation, though in time, it became problematic.
It was May 2001 that I attended the national ADDA (Attention Deficit Disorder Association) conference in Seattle, and it was there I met Ms L, who had ADD also. She had a quirky but intellectual style, and was a consummate consumer of knowledge about ADD, and as a vital part of this condition, one comes to trust others relatively quickly so to learn about support groups, effective doctors and treatment medications possibilities . We built up a close relationship around this, and freely exchanged information, and especially so in advance of doctor visits to strategize and consolidate one's position for maximum return on the time invested.
We would always discuss my visits to Dr N in advance, as he seemed to be erratic at times; he was a lab-rat type, and not adequately assessing how the patient is functioning. He had contrary views on Dexedrine, but had no wisdom or alternatives to offer as to the reason of its effectiveness for me. His attempts at other medications or persisting in others were at times dangerous, as I was sometimes off the only medication that was singularly effective. Dr N was frustrating, he would have a leading edge medication that was promising, then he would sit back for 3 months promoting something that was mutually understood to be ineffective. On two occasions, when I was full of vexation and intended to tell him that I had enough, I seemed to fall under his spell, and lose my oppositional vigor and all the relevant points of my argument. It has never happened before, and as matters have progressed in recent months, it would seem to me that a likely scenario was that he had been tipped off as to my intentions, and there had been some kind of "dithering" laser or other type of irradiative device that caused me to be dazed by his song and dance routine. But it should be said, leading from this period, is that whoever introduced the irradiative harassment into my life, has had excellent clinical knowledge to ensure that it was introduced gradually, and that I didn't notice at the time.
The only other minor noteworthy item that signposted dysfunction at this time was my attempt to get ready for the US National long course (50 m) Masters Swimming meet in nearby Tacoma in August 2001. Although I had not actively swum for 6 months on a regular basis, I found I did not have the usual stamina by a considerable margin, and gave up on my plans.
Pre-assaultive Phase, Nov. 2001-April 14, 2002
1)Sleepless in Seattle
As June rolled around into October, I found myself still struggling with mood, attaining appropriate energy and fighting off Dr N's diversionary (my speculation) medications. Increasing the dose of Dexedrine helped for a time, then it dropped off in short order which was unexpected,- it should of plateaued for 6 or more months. Though it should be said that I did tolerate it very well, and in hindsight has caused me to think that there may of been some kind of deleterious irradiative energies applied to me as early as June 2001. My recent experience (11-2002) of being on this medication anew, though at much reduced dosages, leads me to now believe that much of my dysfunction was externally induced, by whatever means and not attributable to the medication. I can only assume November was the beginning of a new phase the DEW harassment, though with some cluses (above) going back to 06-2001, because there were a few coincident and odd events determinable only in hindsight. One, my electrical power bill shot up from 400 mwh to 700 mwh, and as I will detail below, there appeared to be some illegal "power-sharing". It was at this time I renewed my lease, fatefully as it turned out, for a full 12 months. Also at this time, the building exterior maintenance was near completion, and there was scaffolding in front of my window for 4 weeks. Once removed, I noticed a new installation of parabolic dish on the opposite of the courtyard that seemed, by my unpracticed eye, to be pointing directly at this apartment or perhaps the one above.
It was about this time that I became a late night internet junkie. I would not, could not, go to bed before 2 am every night, though I felt relatively ready to begin the day at 7:30. I was a little ragged in the morning, but my prescribed Dexedrine 30mg, 4 times per day (120mg total) for Attention Deficit Disorder got me back into the swim of things. It was the first time ever I could not will myself to change a bad habit. I blamed the Dexedrine at the time, but this is debatable in hindsight: one, I can go to sleep very nicely while on Dexedrine as its stimulant properties are atypical for those with ADD, second, this occurred with absolute consistency every day, -my system does not run this way, third, I could not will myself to change for the first time ever, fourth, although a late night owl, I was never this bad. It was the cummulation of this sleeplessness and related exacerbations that were the underlying need for me to seek later refuge in short term disability coverage April 25, and then a hospital stay beginning May 02.
Other ADD-like behaviors that seemed to have a new life were aphasia (lack of word meaning) and constantly not getting my act together (apathy) which worsened over this time. Another set of symptoms was that I didn't feel hungry at anytime (highly unusual), and this was not a medication induced symptom, as I mentioned, the medications normalized me. Subsequent lower doses (40 mg per day, 11-2002) did not cause the sensation of hunger to return.
Other odd items were the smell of paint in the apartment when I returned from work in February - March. Another was both door locks had been locked (same key) when I only use one, signifying entry by some other party. The venetian blind louvers took on some inexplicable dimpling, and some were bent, all on their own it seemed. Someone had affixed nylon ties to the loose leads of my cable lamp system. Each night I went to bed, no matter the time, there was the sound of wires scrapping against the wall. I always took this to be the next-door apartment owner pulling his alarm clock out, but this always occurred at my bedtime. I have since concluded this must of been magnetic irradiation being applied to me that also caused the internal wall wiring to flip about, as I now encounter this frequently with non-rigid items in my apartment. Also, the fridge seemed to become louder, and the adjacent elevator humming noise seemed to be more continuous. These events built up anxiety about who was entering my apartment for what reason, as nothing had been taken.
2) Employment Ructions
I overheard, or more likely, was meant to overhear as my cubicle was outside the manager's office, that "I have no use for (my name) once the data model is done" in early April, and later heard "big changes coming", then overheard, "layoffs....(my name)" through the wall of the manager's office. A re-organization was slated for April 15 (a Monday). Sometime around April 10, my work colleagues were looking at me with abject horror, as if I had committed some unspeakable sin. Likewise, my apartment manager gave me the same look. It was baffling, though I had become resigned to the "layoff".
On the Friday, April 12, my former boss, BT, with whom I was on friendly terms, invoked a ruse to go shopping at a deli late work time on Friday. During our trip to the deli, and then back to work to dine, and then a walk back to his car (near my place), he seemed to disappear a couple of times. Subsequent to each disappearance, his line of questioning seemed to change. I just thought it was odd, as it wasn't like him. It caused me to ponder if there was a corporate layoff event in the offing, or if it was a "me-only" event.
3) Who Fixed My Car?
My car would always clunk going around the tight corners in the apartment-parking garage, though I had it checked out, there was nothing wrong in the estimation of the mechanics. I drove out to a Sometimes Girlfriend, Ms. C, and my car handled totally differently. It was tighter, and made no clunking sounds going around tight corners. I was immediately suspicious, but again baffled as to who would fix my car without authorization.
Upon inspection the next day, the tie rod (rubber) boots were new. A front-end shop later verified the replacement of the tie rod ends. Also, I found the jack to be misplaced, the jack attachment point crushed and the "Wipe-its" were placed in the jack storage are when they had been in the glove box. There were splatter marks on the headliner in the car, near the cargo area of the station wagon, as if a wet dog had shaken. Obviously someone took the car and had a breakdown and got it repaired. I now have a notion (11-2002) that the vehicle was taken to a facility and irradiated with magnetic energy in order to saturate it and thereby remove its shielding properties when irradiated externally while moving. This may have taken many visits, and the vehicle broke down on one of them. As part of the aforementioned front end work, the shop indicated that the entire front end was out of alignment and needed rework to avoid premature balljoint wear, which had also occurred in Feb. 2002.
4) A Sometimes Girlfriend (Ms. C)
I can't recall the precise details of why I came to develop a notion of my e-mail being monitored at work and at home. The behaviors of my former boss (above) seemed to be changed in response to a personal e-mail to Ms C. My phones had been making odd sounds from time to time.
When I went to visit her Saturday night (April 13), I already was quite suspicious of my e-mail and phones, suspicious of my vehicle being tampered with, and frazzled about my impending employment status. By my ignorance and unawareness, she managed to elicit my method of detecting apartment entry, but for her part, there were a number of statements which seemed to indicate that she knew more than she let on. In the course of the evening she invoked a "oops, I didn't mean to say that" on four occasions, and even suggested that the layoffs were more about me, again followed by an "oops". She seemed to be behaving oddly that night, and was overly compliant.
It should be noted that later observations about the effects of magnetic radiation, or at least the variety directed at me, will make me anxious with repeated inundations, and the 6 month (at least) lead time of being irradiated was a significant contributor to my state of being anxious. I have since had a repeat experience which was induced by a number of consecutive days of night-time irradiation, possibly to specific neural loications.
5) Who Has Been In My Apartment?
On my return, I found that someone had rifled through my apartment. The telephone and computer wires and electrical boxes were dislodged, the PC print paper had been moved, some art nude prints had been moved, there was an ink stain on the vinyl floor protector by the PC, videos had been dislodged, my clothes had been moved as in a search, empty pill bottles were missing, the phones sounded "cleaner". My will, no less, was marked with a plastic tab in the file cabinet. Mighty curious. When I phoned the Sometimes Girlfriend about the apartment entry, the first thing she asked was "what were the locks like?". I told her about my vehicle's new driving characteristics, and assuming that it occurred over the visitation night, she said, "that wasn't supposed to happen" (then when?). More "oops" recoveries.
By now I was in a total state of panic. This was too big to be an employer's initiative, though it seemed to be aided by my employer, but what on earth had I done? Judging by the horrified faces at work I was deemed to have done something truly unforgivable, but it seemed most odd that the police would accuse someone prior to making a charge. But then again, I was woefully ignorant of police investigation methods. I had been an internet junkie, and visited porn sites, but only the public tour galleries, none of the member-only stuff, and I did not have any kind of adult id card.
My thoughts churned all day long and into the night as to what this "takedown" was all about. I never did get my income tax done as I was trying to put all the facts together, each time in different ways.
6) Who Has Been in My PC?
Sometime later in the day it occurred to me that my PC had been co-opted for illegal use by other parties. Oddly enough, there were users I hadn't heard have with wide sweeping authority, e.g. making files available for the internet. I attempted to delete them, the files and yet they popped back up. Even with administrator privilege, I couldn't get rid of some files and users. As I was finishing up, I noticed two people standing in an overlooking balcony, seeming to be looking in on my activities. By now, my state of anxiety was at a feverish level.
I had no idea as to how I was being monitored, but around midnight I took the PC apart and took the "offending" hard drive out, took it down to my car with my gym bag and medications and disposed of the drive on the way to 24 hr Fitness. At the 24 Hr Fitness window counter I wrote about all the odd occurrences in my diary, with my car parked outside. At about 2 am a vehicle pulls up beside mine, and the driver leans over to look in, then backs up and disappears out of sight. Some 20 minutes later, three guys walk in independently and began working out on the treadmill and orbital trainer. They seemed to be making a poor do of it, as from what I could tell they each seemed to have a holster on, and didn't want to expose this. On my return to my locker, I found out that my medications were not there, though everything else was. I left to return to my apartment and the medications had reappeared. This was most odd, as I singularly remembered to put them in my gym bag.
I decided that whatever I had done, it was going to be too big and complicated to continue and I wrote up a long suicide note. This was about 5 am when I finished. Upon searching through my apartment I noted that a paper, "The Neurotoxicity of Amphetamines", some 20 pages, was not in my briefcase as it had been for the last week. The electrical cords were missing. The cordless phone aerial was in the up position when it had been placed in a horizontal position earlier. Recall that the medications had reappeared too. Someone had been through my apartment again. Ever more heightened anxiousness.
The only suicide method that occurred to me then was the Dexedrine, which I took, though in hindsight, an insufficient quantity. Chances are it could have been altered too or that passing out was externally induced
As hindsight thought; I was likely subject to some kind of DEW device irradiation for some 6 months previous, maybe only at night time, but I have found that anxiousness can be turned on within about 3 nights of unprotected sleep. Certainly the sleep deprivation seemed to be controlled and the agitation level was at a fever pitch and these both impaired my judgment.
The Assaultive Phase, April 15, 2002 - June 19, 2002
1) The No Outcome Standoff or the Razzle-Dazzle Show
I still have a vague recollection of someone carrying me and laying me down on the place on the floor where I had lapsed into unconsciousness. But I have even a more vivid memory of something unseen prompting me, all of me, to get up, which I did with a snap. Recall that I had ingested some 300 mg of Dexedrine (ostensibly) and that I was in a "sped up" state. I was hyper alert but coherent of speech and thought. As I failed in my primary suicide attempt (Dexedrine overdose) my plan was then, to get killed in the expected police shootout. Not that I had a gun, but only a mock weapon in the form of a metal brake vacuum pump. (It had a gun-like form, and I kept it shrouded with a towel to prevent anyone discerning its true unthreatening nature). Needless to say the plan didn't work for reasons that will become clear.
I will spare the chronological order of events, and list them off as I recall them:
sounds of people walking with heavy boots outside my door, sound of (police) dogs and their restraining chains being rattled, the door moved laterally within the door jam, there were fleeting shadows at the corner of my eyes, causing me to turn, thinking that something was approaching, there were bright laser spots appearing on the walls, the clothes iron steamed on its own accord, a 5' tall cabinet leaned over by 1.5 ft and stayed suspended, there were laser based apparitions of trailing lines that quickly disappeared once they diverted my attention, objects crept across the floor on their own accord, the venetian blinds lowered and raised on their own accord, there was a laser based apparition of a stream of "micro-wigglers", there were screwdrivers that bent over double, a metal Ikea clothes rack folded like it had been sawn and then resurrected itself, the clock radio display blinked on and off, and the display of brown colored lasers that were extremely fatiguing.
At the end of it all, I "surrendered", gave up, but no law enforcement agency personnel arrived! I had heard voices, boots walking outside, dogs been unchained, and yet know one came to either arrest me or otherwise declare themselves. Was I mystified or what?
How much of this was induced by Dexedrine and how much were the DEW terrorists displaying their prowess I did not know at the time. I had no doubt that I saw these things, but these things were quite unusual and I didn't mention them to anyone. The clinical folks would say it was all delusional, but with some seven month's hindsight now, I what I experienced was either real, or was projected onto my retina (they can do this). I have never been psychotic, there is no family history of psychosis, and I tolerate Dexedrine very well. Many of these strange phenomenon have come back to visit me, though in a muted form. I just wish I was not so agitated in leading up to this, and taken the calm route with the mindset of "arrest me", or 'lay me off" or whatever was supposed to transpire.
Originally I thought the standoff lasted from 5 am (finishing the note) to 3:30 pm, but in hindsight I estimate it was about 3 hours. I did not have my watch on, though it was on when I slipped into unconsciousness. So where did those intervening 6-7 hours go, and how were they spent? I do not know, though as I mentioned, I have a vague recollection of being laid down at some point.
2) Back to Work
My former boss, BT, with whom I was on good terms with, was hugely interested in how I spent April 15 (Monday) even though I did not report to him, or have any close working relationship at the time; he had a pen on his V-neck sweater and I asked him if was bugged; naturally he was offended, if not a overly so, but at that moment, I saw a red colored laser beam tracking on his desk for all of a 1/10 second. Neither of us mentioned it. He asked about what happened, I told him some specifics that came back to haunt me (suicide attempt), but I did not tell him about the bizarre phenomenon. Although he was plying me for more information, especially detail about what I saw, he indicated that these events were entirely concocted by me over my protests about other externalities -e.g. the putative police evidence raid etc.. He discussed the availability of the employee assistance program when one is unwell. I replied that I didn't need it because there is a significant body of externalities of which I have not been apprised, and until I am, it wasn't necessary. He accused me of being paranoid, which became the mantra of a number of colleagues and friends, and caused me to suspect they were singing off the same song sheet.
No one at work asked where I was Monday April 15, nor did they wish to enjoin me in conversation with the lead in, "I had an interesting day yesterday".
My Alternate Girlfriend (Ms. L), who had arrived back from a week away in New York April 14, was also one of my confidants, and in hindsight, was very likely a cooperator. She also emphasized that I was paranoid, and that I needed help, and was attempting to convince me the Standoff event was delusional. Again I got the paranoid accusation followed with a statement of seeing a counselor. She continued on this theme a number of times until our association ceased (below). Neither girlfriend was very nurturative, and the Sometime Girlfriend got in such a stinking huff that she didn't want to talk to me. These contrived rows became delimiting as to whom and where I could later find refuge.
Two days after the Standoff I found my watch and my 3" pocketknife in my shoe. I never, ever, keep these things there, but always on my bedside table. I had lapsed into unconsciousness with my watch on, so the placement of both of these items were tangible evidence that someone else had been in my apartment and was party to the Standoff event.
I visited my daughter in Victoria on the following weekend and was treated to the geo-locational phenomenon. In the living room of my parent's house, I felt this sensation which I will term "sounding". Its as if one is vibrating from an outside cause, akin to the early phase of an earthquake. I have since come to experience this numerous occasions, and, as I am the only thing vibrating, my interpretation is that there must be some kind of remotely directed energy applied to the cerebellum. (The cerebellum is the back part of the brain responsible for gross motor movements, and tying sensations together that are experienced at the same time). I have also come to find that this is a locating method, which is followed by more injurious directed energy. A momentary pulse of the AC lighting followed the sounding sensation. As I moved about in the room, a band of large pixels appeared across the TV and the sounding followed me again. I repeated this sequence at least 4 times. I also had the sensation I was being followed by unknown persons a few times during my visit, but I couldn't be absolutely sure.
There was an odd incident when I took the helicopter shuttle back to Seattle. Two men followed me in, and when boarding, one of them broke out of the line and secured a seat ahead of every one else. The other later sat beside him, while I was seated in the row behind them. After the directives about seat belts and warnings about turning cell phones off, the helicopter lifted off, and within a minute or so, the line-jumper pulled out a communications radio, engaged in some kind of transmission, and then hid the device in his coat. He also had a terribly vague reason for visiting the US, but didn't get the usual third degree from the INS officer. This character shows up again.
It was during the period of April 15th to the 24th that I noticed short duration light pulses at night in my apartment. Some were linear, some covered a larger area with red and green as the most common colors. They were constant and unrelenting. I took these to be lasers, and have come to know this as a very common phenomenon, and they occur every night now. My take on these is that they are used for gathering coordinates of where I am in relation to everything else.
3)Cooked at Work
I knew something was up when one of my co-workers was agitated in my presence, but all too often, I was new in this game. I took my normal dosing of medications at 11:30 am and went home for lunch.
It was about 2:00 pm when I felt this wave of ill feeling and palpitating heart. I stayed rooted at my desk, as I feared getting up. Coincidentally BT came by when the sensation was at its height. I spoke with him briefly and managed to hold a minimal but coherent discussion. The wave subsided only to be replaced by another about an hour later. Again someone tried to engage me in conversation at its peak. Thinking it was a medication spiking, I eventually I got up and went to the nearby drugstore to get some Vitamin C and chocolate (amphetamine blockers). I felt immediately better once I braved getting on my feet. At about 5:00 I emailed the facilities manager about my medications being spiked, and even spoke with my manager about it. When I sent my e-mail, my manager yelled out loudly to the next enclosed office, "We got him". Maybe it was just a coincidence, but it struck me as damned odd, both then and now. On the way home I noticed on person following me, and though I passed him going up the hill, this same person showed up again, later on my walk home. At least four people clustered around me when I went to the drug store to enquire about the possibility of my medications being spiked. The next day I noted the Event Log of my PC had all of April 23 (not the 24th) removed, and as I was perusing this, a manager across the hall exclaimed "uh oh".
The HR department never did look into probable causes, and assigned the blame to me, indicated that I said some strange things. (That my medications were spiked, but then again, if one is feeling strangely, one will likely say odd things). As HR departments are charged with resolving harassment at work, they fared poorly!
I would have settled for just that, but as I sat in my apartment later in the evening, another wave came over me. Now I knew the workplace events were connected to the home events. These strong emanations persisted all over the apartment, and so I decided to take a hotel for the night. I did an elementary spy trick and took the elevator to floor other than my room. I lingered some, and was about to depart when a man exited the elevator, holding a communications radio similar to the one I witnessed on the helicopter shuttle of a week previous. I took the elevator to yet another floor, and then the stairs. I was not immune to being found, as laser lights shone through the peephole and windows. The sounding routine seemed be locating me too. No other phenomenon was evident and I had my best sleep in 5 months.
4) Human Resources is Here to Help You
Late on the 25th I was summoned into a meeting with the Human Resources manager. "We are worried about you
. you are a valued employee
. etc. But you must see a doctor and get a signed letter of suitability for employment before returning to work. In meantime, short term disability is available
" . I was too exhausted from my many sleepless nights to put up much of a fight about the strange goings-on in the work place that had transpired. The HR manager, never effusive, looked rather conflicted. I did the hospital emergency routine, 5-hour wait for 5 minutes of doctor time, visited my family doctor and each explained these events as being a facet of psychosis. No amount of tangible detail seemed to persuade them.
It was following this that my apartment became unlivable. There was some kind of directed energy being applied, and no matter where I moved, it followed. I was pacing around the room to escape the "brain cooking", and although this technique helped at one time, it didn't anymore. There were sounds in the wall of a switch being thrown, akin to a circuit breaker. Objects flew out of my hands on occasion, and the lights dimmed on their own accord. At any time when I was crafting a countermeasure, the properties of tape, aluminum foil or other common objects changed, and thereby thwarting my endeavors. There was a significant humming sound emanating from the wall, and a mock ventilation fan sound from upstairs each time I turned mine on. There was a sewing machine like sound when my refrigerator compressor was running which was accompanied by an unbearable irradiation. Switching off my refrigerator at the circuit breaker caused a cessation of the sewing-machine sound and irradiation, though it resumed but quieter. This was a clue that my electrical power had been tapped into. A discussion with the Alternate Girlfriend about a request to stay at her place was turned down flat, even though I had considerable credits in aiding her many times when in distress. She played the party line, "You're psychotic, I can't help you, don't call until you get better". I spent a night at 24 Hr Fitness, but it did get kind of dull around 3:00 - 4:00 and no sleep.
The next week proceeded much like above though intensified; it was the worst of my life. I had another hotel night, but this time they were irradiating me with microwave-like energy all night. I was like a caged rat without the cage; sharp pangs of being" zapped", or irradiated occurred anywhere in public, including the doctor's office. I was always pacing around, trying to find relief from something unknown in kind and source. There seemed to be a significant amount of coincident activity in the upstairs apartment in response to what I did; sometimes there was foot-stomping if I had a successful countermeasure such as lowering the cable light system to create a 2' arc. The upstairs apartment coincidences were such that I could even enter into a primitive dialog, with a yes/no answer in the form of sounding. On occasion there was laughter at my countermeasures, and I came to believe, and still do, that this was the operations room and the parabolic dish mentioned earlier may be for data transmission. In reality, a countermeasure didn't last very long before another adaptation foiled it. A second night in a hotel was no relief, the irradiation and brain microwaving persisted and I eventually slept in the hotel main bathroom that was encased in concrete. Another 24 Hr Fitness night was no refuge; I was being irradiated even while swimming. I would visit Kinko's to use their Internet stations to try a find out what was going on, and the perpetrators had a method of dithering my keystrokes, and also causing my Google searches to return something minimally relevant. Occasionally I could slip them by jumping to another search engine, and on each occasion someone would come to the station beside me and look over. They even dithered the shared printing, and I wasn't the only one who lost printouts.
There was no relief while walking the streets; vehicles, cyclists and pedestrians would pass by and zap me, causing me to nearly keel over. On a few occasions a red laser beam was pointed at me, and just when another perpetrator moved on, another took his place. I could dodge a source if I could figure out which direction it came from, but soon they put two sources on so I was in their crossfire. Vehicle trips were just as harrowing; they would pass me slowly, time without fail, and zap me. At one time, there were six vehicles clustered around me when I went to make a call from a public phone. That was no use, as the phone made odd noises when I connected. On two occasions I found my apartment door open when I had made a short sortie to the garbage chute. On another like occasion when I doubled back to my apartment to collect something, I saw my venetian blinds actively parting about 6 ", controlled by some remote force. That was unbelievable, but at the same time it added credence to the strange events I witnessed during the Standoff. Another instance of an entry to my fitness locker was almost as odd. One of the contents of my locker was returned outside my apartment door some two hours later. I made another trip to Victoria and conferred with my friends, whom I can normally rely upon to be objective, and to my annoyance, they thought this was a "head-problem". I was exasperated; there was no time to read, sit and relax and do any thought work. I was a refugee of unknown and unexplainable forces.
It was my same friends who helped me though. They phoned one night the next week, and I explained the current wild set of circumstances; microwave-like radiation directed at the head, obtaining relief from the shelter of metal objects, another entry in my apartment where my cable lamp system was modified, and other hard to believe details. They asked me to come over to Victoria the next day, and I agreed. It took another day for me to get my act together and get a flight, but in the meantime the level of radiation was punishing. At the airport I found a steel column to be a refuge from the drive-by radiation, and when I returned to that same location to catch the bus, there were three individuals standing around with portable irradiative devices. It was withering. I took a hotel room that night, and there were lasers passing through the peephole, and they even burned holes in the rubberized curtain. Before I got to my room, one of two individuals kept following me about the hotel floors, almost like a Keystone Cops encounter. It was another hellish morning replete with two individuals maintaining eye contact in the waiting area that kept moving around for a direct line of sight on me. I finally caught some sleep in the aircraft, but again the irradiative sources started coming on again as I approached Victoria. I suspect that there must be some kind of remote control on the delivery of radiation, and the individuals, whether on foot, driving, loitering or whatever, are carriers of the device and they receive instructions on where and how to conduct themselves and place it.
5) You Are Safe in the Loony Bin
I told my friends the story again, and to alleviate their concerns they invited the Help/Crisis line folks to hear me out. Before I knew it, I was in the hospital as a voluntary patient. I agreed mainly for the reason to seek refuge from the intense harassment, and for a week, as long as I was inside and not out on a pass, it was. I was to be off all my ADD medications and take mood stabilizers. Two doctors later it was the same diagnosis: psychosis due to amphetamine neurotoxicity. That they weren't interested in any of the other details or my theories was becoming the usual treatment.
For a few days I felt that I was recovering; I needed the sleep and the sudden medication adjustment was tiring. Before long I noticed the laser pulses at night, and I began to think that the perpetrators were coming back. And it was true.
Patients that were friendly to me wouldn't talk to me anymore, others I hardly knew were moving away from me for no reason, others exchanged looks with others, and the man I saw on the helicopter shuttle with the communications radio also showed up as a patient. I had an EEG test and was exposed to some very bright lights. Thereafter, for two weeks or more, there were a significant number of vehicles that had their bright lights on, even in daytime, anytime I was out driving on day pass. At one point I went to Home Depot and purchased a metal-backed weather seal for my parent's door. Curiously, it took on properties of its own, as it moved by itself as if a large receiving aerial. The small tools hanging from the racks moved on their own accord when I wandered near them. As all too usual, there were people hanging around me, at odds far greater than any normal shopping coincidence. There was always someone who moved in quickly when I made my purchase. I was being irradiated anytime I was outside on day pass, and the success rate of being irradiated while inside the hospital was becoming greater. It seemed that one of the patient's motorized Medichair was the source of the irradiations as it had a 12v automotive-type battery onboard. No doubt the building was difficult to penetrate with magnetic or electric radiation as it was a steel-concrete construction, and I saw various markings appear on the walls, in the bathroom, a steel bead on my bedside bookshelf, and yellow-amber crystalline dried insect look-alikes on the walls. One of these had showed up in my apartment earlier. The surveillance was very frequent anytime I was out on day-pass, and the frequency of irradiation, at a bend-over double intensity level. After 3 weeks I checked out of the hospital for insurance coverage reasons, which is when they informed me I was only 70% covered when earlier they indicated that I was 100% covered. The hospital did not return my mother's phone calls on this very same subject until the same day they informed me. Too much of a coincidence. Other induced dysfunction that occurred when I checked into hospital were no pens in my briefcase and a smashed Palm Pilot.
The next month, late May to late June proceeded much like before; being irradiated, sometimes punishingly so, especially when I went to a library or public internet site. I was continually harassed, if it's the correct term, by "close-passers-by". These would be pedestrians who for some reason saw a need to hang around me, or pass closely. Any given occurrence is not unusual, but in aggregate it is. On other occasions I saw red lasers pointed at my room from a distance. My concentration was poor; I couldn't read a newspaper for 5 minutes, when an hour was the previous norm. All the time I had to keep up a pretense that nothing was happening, as all the psychosis believers, like my mother, would find food for their narrow opinion. My mother had nothing to offer about why proximity to steel objects helped alleviate the symptoms, or connect the frequent break-ins of my vehicle to any of the above. A visitation to my brother in Kamloops did not relieve the irradiation feeling, and all too unfortunately, he did not believe I was being harassed and irradiated by anyone or organization. It's been a lonely and uphill row to hoe, and I had no part in choosing it.
Stealth Phase. June 19, 2002 to present
The Mighty Meter
It was June 19 when I bought a Trifield meter that measured electric, magnetic and radio radiation. It was quite apparent that the magnetic radiation scale was the most active, and at first it was wildly successful in picking up high, 2-3 milliGauss level radiation that would suddenly appear when certain individuals were passing by. My apartment had greater than 10 mG; I could feel the huge nauseous wave of magnetic radiation emanating from the bathroom, just as before. Then within a day, this highly assaultive and withering radiation stopped. I challenge any of the naysayers, clinical or otherwise, to name a medication, legal or illegal, that would have this kind of immediate and positive change.
For a month or so I thought I was on easy street, but as I got my life back together I became less certain. For one, a certain individual who I saw earlier at the hospital in advance of being exposed to a laser show of micro-wigglers, re-appeared outside the nearby hotel where the parabolic dish is located. Once I got my PC up and running, and found websites that provide similar accounts to mine, indicating that the harassment never ends, I became concerned. There was a low level magnetic radiation of 0.4 mG, though the fluctuating needle caused me some concern because that signified activity.
It was the accumulation of a number of clues over August that I concluded that I was being irradiated, though with some kind of pulsed low energy beam. At times the wall clicking would start and I would feel some kind of pulse to my face and the meter reading would move from 0.6 milliGauss to 0.8 milliGauss. A glass of nearby water was never still, as the surface was constantly rippling. As if this were bad enough, the same low energy pulsed beam was directed at my head at work. Apart from the meter reading and needle fluctuation, I had rapid onsets of sinus pressure, yawning, and ear pressure as well as sensations of hair raising, something trailing through my eyelashes, and my eyes drying out rapidly. My ability to concentrate was poor. I was very groggy in the mornings, and this, with some kind of exploratory muscle twitching and internal organ vibration at night, caused me to believe that I was being irradiated at night. Invariably when I go to new locations, a bright green or red laser dot shows up in my field of vision, some 8-10' away, and some kind of harassment begins: a sudden yawning onset or magnetic irradiation typically. The technology seems such that a laser spot can "appear from" any household AC wiring. The nighttime laser show, the "aura borealis" as I call it, also seemed to cluster around AC wiring. I sense that some kind of intersection of energy beams can cause emanation of radiation to appear from any location where they have a reliable 3D coordinate system in place. Related to this, anytime I have moved about in the unusual location or when I am in my bathroom, the lights momentarily pulse off/on, yet there is no change in the magnetic radiation reading. I sense that the perpetrators can use the AC wiring and light pulses of some kind to take a snapshot. When I read what "through-the-wall" radar technologies can do nowadays, it would be no surprise to me that the AC wiring can be exploited for surveillance purposes. A new technique of a week old at this writing, is to direct sounds to my head just as I am falling into a deeper sleep.
Other studied phenomenon that are likely being applied are some kind of direct retina irradiation, where they "see" the images on the retina directly, just as one does. There were countless times when I would stop and gaze at something, a double take as it were, and just then a momentary pulse of the A/C lighting would occur to obtain a "snapshot" from another perspective. I cannot make my eyes dark if I close my eyelids and place my hands over them. If I place my arms over my head or temples I will notice a further darkening of my eyes, though its rare that it is completely dark. The methods they have of locating my eyes and retina seem myriad. I now understand that lasers can be directed to penetrate the skull and cause differing tissue to resonate uniquely. I also notice a pulsing flash across my retina (when my eyes are closed) at about the same rate as the gaussmeter fluctuation, which could mean the source is magnetic. Likely it is both, though in new and public locations I suspect this method is not so reliable, and they resort to A/C power flashes and the small microdot lasers that project toward my eyes and read the image from there. To me, this is the ultimate in invasion of privacy, to be able to see what another person sees in real time, all the time. It's not quite full blown mind-reading, but should one take a prolonged look at something, they have a pretty good idea that you are thinking about too.
My primitive understanding of magnetic radiation deleterious effects is that it depends on the frequency (e.g. megahertz) as well as the field strength (milliGauss). I bought a separate frequency analyzer that may not be as reliable as an integrated unit, but for the record, the frequency is about 140 - 180 megahertz.
The current standards for continuous exposure to magnetic radiation used by most of the world are those from Sweden and are:
5 Hz - 2kHz up to 2.5 milliGauss
2 kHz - 400 kHz up to 0.25 milliGauss
So here I am, typically exposed to 0.6+ milliGauss at frequencies approx. 140 - 180 megahertz in my apartment, and wondering who is it that passed a death sentence on me, and what right do they have?
I also suspect there are other means of delivering deleterious energy, as I have felt many of the sensations detailed above, with no change in the magnetic radiation level. I even protested the high EMF levels with my apartment manager for some sport, though to no resolution. I have since (11-2002) re-evaluated this perception and what I have concluded is that the perpetrators have methods to govern or throttle the deflection of the meter needle, by some kind of dedicated and direct meter governing irradiation, while delivering other irradiation to the head (usually). Therefore, most of my lower meter readings, say < 1.0 mG, were likely erroneous, as I could decidedly feel some kind of emanations at the time. Only when there is a stronger than normal electrical field do I notice the meter read higher, which of course combines the ungoverned true reading with the background level. On occasion, if I do not tip my intentions, and quickly sneak a meter reading on the correct scale first-on, sometimes with some non-magnetic background while walking, I have found the reading to be in the order of 30-40 mG on those days when the sensation of being irradiated is very much being constantly felt.
Conclusions, Nov. 07-17, 2002
Quite frankly, I just don't know where to turn as this harassment continues, possibly as I write this. Predictably, the doctors are stuck in mud, despite the fact that their medications and a hospital stay didn't help. As I mentioned, a field strength meter incurred the biggest change, but only of intensity and is temporary.
I really want to get on with is what has been truly impairing my life, which I had only begun, and that is Attention Deficit Disorder, Inattentive Subtype.
I moved apartments hoping that a concrete structure would offer protection, and it didn't take more than 3 weeks for them to set up upstairs as I hear the same clunking and clicking sounds all over again. There seems to be an inherent magnetism, even if weak, in nearly all things in my apartment. Mostly, if I move hear an object that can freely move or sway, it will. If I hold a hand compass at arm's length, it changes direction when I bring it close to my body. Two identical hand compasses will point to different directions if more than 12" apart. I moved physical address locations and in hindsight, my difficulties should be no surprise. My US Mail address change did not go through for some mysterious reason, and my ATT e-mail account, which was to be transferred (kept intact) was closed for some reason and they also had to make 2 trips out to see to my modem. My web searches seem abnormally truncated as I will do the same search at work as at home, and find the response at home to be highly reduced (same search engine).
I sometimes get these crushing headaches and sense of ill feeling that come over me for an hour or two a day. On another occasion, when I was seeing Ms C (below) recently, I found myself to be incredibly nervous and concerned for my well-being, though this was supported by more odd vehicles hanging around as well as malingerers on the streets at significantly greater frequencies than before. At times, I have needed to urinate every 20 minutes or so all day, and am exceptionally mouth-dry. This latter problem can be turned on remotely in short order it seems, as I was having a row with Ms C, and dry mouth came on all of a sudden.
Its not over by any means: I had re-acquainted myself with Ms. C in the story (above) in August, and while I had not pursued a full and complete explanation of her earlier participation, what I came to understand, by way of renewed and feigned romantic interest, was that she was setting me up for being irradiated with magnetic and laser systems while overnight at her place, and in the vehicle ride on the way into Seattle. So she played Mati Hari twice on me, not to mention the constant on/off relationship changes and her confrontational style when I broached the subject of being targeted by strange and injurious phenomenon by parties unknown. Here she had been grinding me down about the validity of my experiences, suggesting that they did not occur, but at the same time was collaborating with the perpetrators this second time around by inducing me to get out of my apartment, and also supplying me with garments, "thrift store finds" that were exceptionally non light reflective to aid in some kind of laser range detection. She wouldn't put her seat belt on, which gave her room to sit on the far side of the car, to avoid being irradiated along with me, as I was driving on our commutes from Everett to Seattle. I have since come to the conclusion that she was a "plant", or operative from the beginning, going back to summer of 2000. While I cannot be positive, it did not seem at anytime that her behavior changed, and became more or less romantic, as there had always been a friction component from the outset. I have since come to the same conclusion about Ms. L, as she extracted a much more detailed clinical knowledge from me than otherwise possible from any source. Again, there was a friction component that would create rifts and effectively prevent any kind of deeper emotional connection. I suspect that they were both ably "handled" and that there was very little at the time that would cause me to think that they were anyone than who they were.
As a retrospective, I suspect that the offer of employment by CJZ was the beginning of a setup, as BT had every opportunity to find out from me as to what my perceptions of Ms C and Ms L were and where they fitted in my life, and if thereby provide feedback information as to how they were doing. There should be much credit given to the side of the operation that "handled" them, that is coached them on what to say, how to introduce a topic, and to continue encouragement of remaining worth in the association.
My take on this prolonged plant of two social operatives in my life was that the first round, when I was apparently depressed (the doctors' diagnosis) they began their operation of irradiation and gauging its effects through Ms. C and possibly my employer. When I persisted in determining an Attention Deficit Disorder diagnosis that immediately pulled me out of the hole I was in, they decided to go another round with Ms. L. It should be noted that they gained considerable clinical response information from this episode as Ms. L and I were in frequent contact about health issues. So if they irradiated me at night with frequency x, for y intensity at z duration, they would of gained a very detailed account of what kind of day I had through Ms. L.
Anytime I go outside my apartment or work, the magnetic radiation levels are nearly always 1.5 to 3.0 milliGauss, even while driving. Yesterday, while making a longer trip in the vehicle, I almost threw up, as I had been so exposed to magnetic radiation. Sometimes there are wild needle swings up to 6 or 10 milliGauss. Today, for the first time that I was aware, they remotely turned off my meter, so when I looked at the dial only, tucked away in my jacket pocket, it appeared to be zero. Another technique is to control the magnetic radiation levels depending on where my meter is, or if I am looking at it. Also, there is irradiating while piggybacking on the operation of other devices- my car is about 0.2 milliGauss at idle, at the driver's face. Now, for reasons that I believe are of nefarious origin, the reading is close to 1.0 milliGauss in the same circumstances.
I am on the horns of what I perceive to be a significant dilemma: it is plain that my employer CJZ wants to get out of the employee harassment business, if the April 15 and April 24 events are anything to go by, but what is the future? More of this if/when I relocated back to Canada at significant personal relocation cost and disruption? What is the good of going through relocation disruption only to be pummeled by the same means which would appear to be the case, as they kept at me even when hospitalized. It would appear in the least, that they somehow have to protect the guilty, and ensure that I do not seek any retribution,- about the last thing on my mind these days.
It seems to me that the Razzle Dazzle show was to cause me to be a psychological wreck, from which I would quit my employment and return to Canada. But what I cannot figure out is why they created this elaborate scenario where I was the one who selected how much medication as an overdose, unless of course there is more mind control than I am aware. If my assumption is correct, and the April 15 event was intended as a "send-off" for my employer and possibly my unknown (to me) tormentor, and they were armed with the most detailed clinical information from Ms. L and possibly Dr. N, how on earth did they come to create an event where I was the determiner of the outcome directly by how much medication I took, and worse yet, why did they expect me to have an adverse reaction to the one medication that was the most helpful? I never would of been the wiser as to being irradiated until this big show they pulled off in my apartment. We each could of gone our separate ways, without me ever knowing that I was a victim of induced torpor and dysfunction. I am still uncertain as to what was meant to transpire; if CJZ wants to get rid of me, then why didn't they lay me off on April 15, in place of the No Standoff /Razzle Dazzle Show. The solution, from their perspective was so straightforward and clean; no employment therefore I must move out of the country. So why this high risk event (April 15) and consequently the protracted torture that has now exposed a large number of players not to mention poisoned relationships?
The intensity level has had a recent (11-15-2002) increase to what I suspect is about 30-40 mG at both my apartment and at work. My work colleagues appear to be stressed and carry a heavy burden of knowledge as they do not visit my cubicle very often, and there is a high level of avoidant behavior, furtive glances and sometimes flinching back from my desk. Somehow I almost think it's as tough on them to know, and even be possibly complicit, in the incremental torture of a fellow employee and not know what the outcome will be. Another thought is that in many ways the worse damage has already been done, assuming that they have been truthfully informed as to my fate and that of the employer's role. (I am not banking on this, but there must be another good reason needed for employee's renewed participation if the April 15 No Standoff event was not a total success for the perpetrators). The worst damage in my estimation, and I maybe naively indulging in assigning high moral standards, is that each employee knows that their government and employer are jointly engaged in unconstitutional acts of individual torture, and worse yet, it could happen to anyone. I noted that my penknife that I always carry with me went missing the day the intensified attacks began.
There have been other likely related activities: my divorce negotiations have been protracted all of this year, my ex-to-be makes much of my mental capability but has no facts to back it up, as if there is an advance topic with the details to be supplied at a later time. My electromagnetic shielding cap was stolen from my apartment, there have been mischief misplacements of computer hardware and my PC behavior will degrade at any time. It would appear to me that they have all my familiar and possibly enlightening web sites mirrored onto their own server, often with key pieces missing or even misinformation about scientific information. E-mail has been erratic in the success rate of response. I even went to a respectable street front detective agency, and found them closed in during regular business hours. Could have been a coincidence, but that's a word I have come to re-interpret as meaning there is a lesson I have not yet learned. In posting to the web, I am asking the reader have some positive suggestions and solution paths, they would be welcome. If you have contacts that could suddenly show up with the appropriate measurement equipment that would be ideal. Any outside expertise has to be lined up in advance, by telephone or e-mail, and invariably they are busy, unavailible, blow me off or have some kind of contrite response. Otherwise, it is a personal and lonely hell, and most disturbingly, it is not a free country.
John Hughes 11-17-2002
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